Welcome back to our advice column, Ask Stable Sage, where we answer queries from readers about horse- and life-related issues, especially where the two intersect. Take our suggestions with a grain of salt, or at least one sugar cube. This column is intended for entertainment purposes only and should not be considered legal advice. 

Have a question for Stable Sage? Email it to coth.advice@gmail.com. We reserve the right to edit your submission for clarity and length, and we promise to keep it anonymous. 

Dear Stable Sage,

I pride myself on being an open-minded person. I generally embrace a “live and let live” philosophy. But in my horse life, I’ve noticed something about myself that’s hard to admit: I can be incredibly dismissive of people who ride western. 

Whenever I meet someone who says they ride, my curiosity instantly perks up … only to deflate when they say they do [insert western discipline here]. Internally, I find myself judging them as somehow less serious or skilled, even though intellectually I know that’s unfair and incorrect. Heaven forbid someone tell me they just ride for pleasure, or trail ride. That’s all? You just … ride on a trail?  

I hate that I think this way, and I’m not sure where this bias comes from. How can I overcome this judgmental mindset and genuinely appreciate riders from all disciplines?

Sincerely,

A Dressage Rider Trying To Do Better

Dear Trying To Do Better,

First, kudos to you for owning up to your bias and wanting to rein it in (pun totally intended). You’re already halfway to becoming a better barn citizen!

Let’s face it: the horse world can be as clique-y as a high school cafeteria. Dressage enthusiasts chatting quietly at one table, barrel racers hollering at another, eventers hopping unpredictably between groups…. See how, even there, I’m perpetuating stereotypes? (#Fail) We all secretly think our discipline is the best and most special, and we’re not wrong. Each IS special in its own way. But maybe it’s just time we mixed tables more often.

What you’re dealing with is a common side-effect of intense specialization: tunnel vision. When we dive deep into a single discipline, we tend to forget that riding isn’t one-size-fits-all. The same qualities you admire—precision, finesse and connection with the horse—exist across all disciplines, just expressed in different ways.

Some ideas to help kick your bias to the curb: 

Cultivate curiosity. When you meet someone who rides western, push past your initial judgment by actively inviting their stories. Ask open-ended questions like: “What’s the most challenging aspect of team penning for you?” or “Tell me about your horse—what makes him perfect for roping?” Maybe they’re the CEO of a Fortune 500 company and trail riding helps them unwind from their job. Approaching these conversations with genuine curiosity will open your mind and dissolve preconceived notions.

Self-reflect. Ask yourself honestly: why does someone “just riding for pleasure” bother you so much? Not everyone needs or wants a competitive discipline. Could it be you’re projecting your own insecurities onto others? Perhaps your worth feels tied to your competitive success, or maybe you struggle with simply “being” and experiencing pleasure in riding without measurable achievements. Recognizing and addressing this internal pressure can make your own riding more joyful and your perspective toward others far healthier.

Expand your horizons. It’s a bummer that the FEI World Equestrian Games format has largely gone bust since its last full-scale iteration at Tryon International Equestrian Center (North Carolina) in 2018. The event, which featured eight of the FEI disciplines, was an illuminating and unifying opportunity to get to see all the things under one roof. But you can still DIY it. Attend a local rodeo or western event with an open mind. Pay attention to the subtleties and horsemanship demonstrated in each discipline. Notice the rider’s hands, their seat, their balance—factors you deeply value as a dressage rider. You might find inspiration in places you never expected.

Don’t knock it ‘till you’ve tried it. If you’re able, book a lesson or two in a western discipline you’re curious about. Once, I took someone up on their offer to try a saddleseat lesson—holy cow, turns out those folks AREN’T just along for the ride. A little dibble-dabble into endurance humbled me in the best way. Look up Anky van Grunsven’s foray into reining—the Dutch dressage legend ended up making the Dutch national team! Good horsemanship is good horsemanship, however you apply it. The foundation is the same. 

Remember that you’re an ambassador for your own discipline. When you show openness, curiosity and respect toward other equestrians, you help build bridges between different parts of the horse community. Consider every interaction a chance to break stereotypes about dressage riders, so that the western rider goes back to their own barnmates saying, “Wow, I just met the most down-to-earth, friendly dressage rider.” This is YOUR opportunity to create positive impressions and foster mutual appreciation across disciplines.

Each time your bias pops up, consciously remind yourself that riding—no matter the style—is fundamentally about partnership and skillful communication with the horse. Celebrate this common ground rather than focusing on differences.

Ultimately, we’re all just passionate horse nerds trying to keep the horse between ourselves and the ground. Embrace the diversity—it’s what keeps our equestrian community vibrant, dynamic and endlessly interesting.

Keep cantering, or loping, or whatever toward open-hearted horsemanship!