Well, as it turns out, these are three things most often mentioned by horse people as the items they can’t live without at a competition.

While listening to one of my favorite radio stations, the deejays were having listeners call in to discuss the three things in the world they couldn’t live without (other than family, friends and pets). I laughed out loud at some of the responses and the comments. Several women mentioned mascara, Netflix, Lycra and chocolate, while the men, not surprisingly, had sports (or watching it) on their minds as they said their recliner, HDTV, Tivo and football.

So, in an informal poll taken over the past few weeks, I asked horse people from many different disciplines and careers to list the three things they couldn’t live without. Duct tape took top honors because “it holds the world together,” and “is the ultimate fix it/patch it/mend it” for everything from loose shoes to putting up stall drapes.

Caffeine, in various forms, was next. One equine artist has coffee as the No. 1 item on her “barn survival kit,” and said, “A sign on my refrigerator says, ‘Drink coffee do stupid things faster.’ Translation: finish barn chores ASAP so you can ride.” There’s also an equestrian photographer who it appears lugs around his own espresso machine, and one Maryland-based hunter/jumper trainer has a golf cart always packed full of Diet Coke. Every person in her barn knows that you never, ever under penalty of death take the last Diet Coke from that cooler.

And, if you happened to make that mistake, you’d better hope she brought her sense of humor (No. 3) to the show that day. One amateur rider explained, “The trainer with a sense of humor came in handy today seeing as how I could not find a distance to save my life in the Level 2’s at Culpeper this morning.” If humor isn’t in abundance, several people believed having Advil on their list would help said trainer cope with whatever headaches happened at the competition. In addition to Advil for the trainer, one owner added food for her child to her must-have list and keys to the camper so “I can hide when both of them don’t have the two things above.”

Like the “normal people” on the radio talk show, horse people do have fashion on their minds, although most of their items were for their horses, not themselves. Several people mentioned hoof polish as tops on their list because “a horse just isn’t fully dressed without it.” Speaking of dressed, one amateur rider said her horse’s outfits were No. 2 (behind a step ladder). “I mean, really, if you are going to have a large sized Barbie doll you should have many different outfits to dress said large Barbie doll in. So, really, you need enough scrims, Irish knits, light/medium/heavy wool to dress to go ‘on parade.’ ” Several riders did think about themselves, and hairnets were mentioned most often: “Hairnets are the pantyhose of the horse industry,” said one amateur. “And you know what I’m talking about. If you don’t have one, it can be bad, but if you have a bad one–it’s worse. Never enough thick hairnets to keep everything in place.” Polished boots also ranked highly, “a pet peeve of mine is unpolished boots, especially when the riders have full-time grooms!”

Oh, and there was one additional must-have item that appeared in various forms: horse treats. One young amateur rider said it best: “The top of the list would be CARROTS, to thank my butt-packing horse as often as I can!”

Tricia Booker