For Shannon Lilley, sending in her entry for the Defender Kentucky CCI5*-L was deeply personal. It wasn’t motivated by a desire to pave the way for a team berth or set herself up for bigger things in the future. Instead, it was about a lifelong journey towards a dream held by many upper-level eventers. And hers was a treacherous one that included Pan American Games gold, a horrific injury that forced her to re-invent herself, starting her own business and then moving cross-country from California to the East Coast where she had to begin again.

“I am doing this for myself, to prove to myself that I can do it, and I have the horse, and he’s really special,” said Lilley, who joked that, at 45, she’s probably the oldest rookie. “It’s been a long time coming, but that’s OK.”

At The Top Of Her Game

Many riders have dreamed of galloping across the bluegrass at the Kentucky Three-Day Event, only for things to go awry before that happens. So when riders finally make it to the Kentucky Horse Park, there’s a huge sense of accomplishment. But to understand what makes submitting her Kentucky entry so special to Lilley requires traveling back to 2011.

That year, Lilley had been named to the Pan American Games team with Ballingowan Pizazz, alongside Buck Davidson, Hannah Sue Hollberg (née Burnett), Michael Pollard and Lynn Symansky. While the team won gold, it was the connection and camaraderie among the riders that made the trip to Guadalajara, Mexico, most memorable for Lilley.

“I basically was where I felt like I was at the top of my game,” she said. “I finished the Pan Ams, and we won the team gold, and that was amazing, and it was the best team. Buck Davidson was our captain, and it was fantastic. We had such a great group of people, and we’re all still friends, we also cheer each other on, and that was awesome.”

With that success, Lilley was determined to make the most of the training sessions she had with Chef d’Equipe Mark Phillips. Though her focus was laser sharp in February 2012, she could tell something wasn’t quite right in her body. She was unaware of a bomb slowly ticking down in her back until she woke up Feb. 28, 2012, without any sensation from the waist down.

Upon arriving at the hospital, doctors were insistent she needed emergency surgery. The L5 disc in her lower back had ruptured, crushing the nerves at the back of her spinal column and taking out the thecal sack, which surrounds the spinal cord. Once in the operating room, her surgeon had to decide whether to fuse the vertebrae. Since she was just 32, he elected to forgo fusion in favor of spending hours removing the fragmented disc material in the hope the resulting scar tissue would stabilize her spine without limiting her range of motion and flexibility.

While it was a catastrophic injury, her surgeon assured her it wasn’t the result of a singular incident—the issue had been brewing.

“He’s like, ‘This was ready to go, and it went big,’ ” she said. “And he said, ‘In the thousands of surgeries I’ve done in my life, I’ve never seen anything like this.’ I was like, great, just what you want to hear when you wake up from surgery.”

All of her plans and dreams vanished with her injury. There would be no move up to advanced for her and “Mango.” No more team training sessions. Her primary concern immediately became her longterm quality of life. In her surgeon’s eyes, she was never riding again, and the goal was to improve her overall function. Her spinal cord was intact, so she could move, but she didn’t have pelvic function. For the first year, she struggled with incontinence and had to catheterize herself until those body functions returned.

One of the hardest decisions was what to do with her Pan Am partner.

“That was the nicest horse at the time I ever owned,” she said. “Philip [Dutton] even said to me once, ‘That was the nicest horse in the country.’ I’m like, ‘Oh, I know.’ And then he was just sitting there in a stall, and it was so hard for me to have other people ride him.”

When Pollard approached her about selling, she admits to crying profusely, but she was also acutely aware that if she ever did get back on a horse, it wouldn’t be Mango, as the gelding was too spooky, so she agreed to sell. Pollard took Mango advanced for several years before selling him to Alexandra Baugh, who won individual gold at the 2018 FEI North American Junior and Young Rider Championships (Montana) and silver in 2017 .

“I don’t regret selling him,” Lilley said. “And then what he did for Alexandra Baugh, I think, was exactly what he needed to do. I thought that was fantastic. He was a special horse, and he definitely put her on the map. And I thought that was really special for him, too.”

The Long Road To Recovery

After her operation, though Lilley had restrictions on sitting—just five minutes at a time, which was enough time to get to the barn—she was allowed to walk and stand as much as she wanted, and thanks to support from the brace, she found standing to teach riding lessons was doable.

However, at the time, she worked under Dayna Lynd-Pugh of Flying Tail Farms, where she was employed as a rider, and there wasn’t a strict teaching position available. So, she explored other avenues. She joined a friend in managing and organizing nonprofit events, drawing on the skills she’d learned in high school and college theater, and later helped another friend with events at her winery.

Six months after surgery she started physical therapy so that she could return to a normal life. Lilley followed her rehab instructions carefully, terrified that if she pushed the envelope as so many riders do, that it would inhibit her recovery.

“I worked really hard to get what I could back,” she said. “At my year checkup, [the surgeon] was like, ‘You should just be happy with where you’re at.’ And I looked at him, I’m like, ‘It’s not going to be like this for the rest of my life. This is not happening.’ ”

Determined not to settle, Lilley sought other options. She started laser therapy and worked with a functional strength coach who was also a therapist with experience with stroke patients, which she felt improved things significantly.

“You can train for a lot of things—this is what I learned. Like, yes, nerve function does come back; it does not time out after a year,” she said. “Like they say, whatever you get back in a year is all you’re going to get. That’s not true. And I ended up training, and I could train the muscles and things to come back.”

Around the seven-month mark, Lilley sat on a horse again. She’d kept just one, dependable horse during her recovery. But it wasn’t a triumphant return to the saddle. Lilley experienced a sensation she compared to vertigo, and she still couldn’t feel anything through her pelvic floor.

“It’s almost like being on a Weeble Wobble without any feeling, and I was nauseous,” she said. “I remember it very vividly, and thinking, ‘How is this ever going to get better?’ ”

Because riding was uncomfortable, Lilley focused her energy on other pursuits. But the pull of horses remained, so she returned to the equestrian world by helping show secretary Christina Gray in the office of many West Coast events, including two USEA American Eventing Championships.

As she regained strength, she began looking to rebuild her horse business, but Lilley admits that there were times when she was scared. Her priority when picking horses to ride was that they were safe. She credits Greenfort Carnival, the horse she competed from 2016 until 2020 and who brought her back to advanced and the three-star level, for being just what she needed.

“It took a long time, but I needed that horse to prove to myself that I could do it again,” she said. “It was just a long road back. And you know, you have all the people in your life that love you and want you to do what you love, but maybe not really do what you love. Maybe you don’t really need to do the riding. Maybe there’s other things out there. And I really tried to do other things. I really did, and I really wasn’t happy.

“The reason I do this, I love the horses so much, and the horses are everything to me,” she continued. “And I didn’t want my life without them, so I kept plugging away.”

Starting Over, Again

Lilley established a thriving business in California with a strong client base, but eventually the challenges of the area began to take their toll. While high taxes and a substantial cost of living were draining, the ever-present danger of fire season was getting worse and significantly impacting her ability to ride. Each year, they’d lose more time and fitness due to smoke caused by fires burning hours away.

She wanted to be responsible when it came to the care of her horses—she wouldn’t ride when the Air Quality Index rose above a certain level—but losing weeks at a time came at a cost.

In 2020, Lilley had to evacuate horses due to fires in Santa Cruz, California, and when their temporary home was threatened, she moved them all again. As it unfolded, her clients and horses were spread across three locations, forcing her to spend much of her day driving between farms. It was unsustainable, and whether they’d have a centralized location to return to was in question.

The situation forced Lilley to consider her next steps, and while she had a great group of supportive clients, she decided the time was right for a big change. She found her clients new places and re-located to the East Coast, bringing a few clients with her.

Her new venture began in Reddick, Florida, where she spent the winter before settling permanently in Oxford, Pennsylvania, for the lion’s share of the year. The culture and community reminded her of what she’d left behind in California, and it had an added bonus of not being too far from her family.

“It has worked out, and still you’re always trying to kind of prove yourself and your name and gaining clients,” she said. “And of course, I’m in an area that’s totally saturated, both areas, so you have to sort of be strategic about what you do. And I actually clinic and do some stuff in the Midwest, and I have clients in North Carolina, so I try to kind of bridge the gap of people that don’t have the help to then clinic, and do it that way.”

Right Time, Right Horse

Shortly after her move East, Lilley found the horse who eventually would enable her to make that coveted Kentucky entry. That horse is Eindhoven Garette, a 11-year-old Selle Français (Iowa 960—Rose Rouge Garette, Manillon Rouge).

“Garrett” was produced by JP Sheffield in England, and Davidson made introductions and told Lilley to purchase the gelding off a video.

“I sort of went on the idea that this is gonna be great horse,” Lilley said. “You never know, right? To watch him go, he looks big and powerful and all that. If you look at him in a stall, he kind of looks like an overgrown pony. And when he came, he was really fat, and so he really looked like a pony. People call him ‘Gare Bear,’ because he looks like a Care Bear.”

Initially Garrett proved to be quite sharp to ride, however, and Lilley confesses to falling off him several times while hacking because he’s so quick, but with each year he’s gained more training and maturity. Even through the sharper years, his work ethic always shined through.

“He loves to work,” she said. “He shows up every day, and as long as I ask the right questions, he always answers. As long as it’s clear and I do my job, well, he’s fantastic. I’ve never had a horse that tries harder. He wants to get it right, and he works so hard, and he has so much heart. He’s cool in the sense that he’s a good mover; he’s a fantastic jumper; he’s got a great gallop, but he always knows where his feet are. Those are things you love about these kind of horses, you always know where he is; he doesn’t make mistakes.”

The pair have now completed two CCI4*-L events at Morven Park (Virginia) and one at Bromont (Quebec), two venues known for their testing terrain and which are often used as a test to see whether a horse could potentially go five-star.

“I am hoping that like that has prepared me well enough to be able to go to Kentucky and feel good like I know he has the distance from there, and I felt like he came home with plenty, and so hopefully, you’re always hoping that they have the distance for this. But obviously, so you never know,” she said.

And there’s something special about making her five-star debut at Kentucky.

“It’s such a nostalgic place, and you know about the Horse Park, and everyone dreams of riding there as a kid,” she said. “Maryland’s awesome, but it Kentucky is our home five-star. It has been for so long, with Bruce [Davidson] and everything that’s put it on the map and stuff like that. It’s fantastic to be able to ride there.”

The Chronicle of the Horse will have two reporters on-site at the Defender Kentucky CCI5*-L, bringing you competition reports, beautiful photos and stories from the competitors on coth.com, so you don’t have to miss a minute of the action. You can find all of our coverage from the week here. You can also follow along on Instagram and Facebook. Be sure to read our May 23 issue for more in-depth coverage and analysis of the event.