[Helen of NC]

The grief is raw, and new, yet not unfamiliar. How does one know when the time has come to part ways with a noble creature, when there is no voice to say, “I’m ready?” As Jewel stood there, shifting her weight to legs that could no longer compensate; as she stood there, her knee buckling, her body shaking, no interest in grazing; as she stood there, removed from the herd, unable to move without great, struggling effort; as she stood there, I knew. She told me in her own way, unmistakably.

Knowing this, however, doesn’t lessen the grief, or the hurt, or the memories that come flooding back, and the questions playing over and over in my mind. Could I have done more? Was there anything else we could have tried? We'd done the daily Previcox, the every-other-week Legend, the supportive shoeing, the wrapping at night with Surpass, the Jiaogulan/AAKG, the magnesium supplementation. At first, it all slowed the progression... until it didn't.

Her heart was strong, fighting till the very end, till the very last breath. She was always stoic, always maternal, always patient; she was my sweet, sweet girl. She was the barefoot four-year-old I found in a pasture; she was the trusty Pony Club mount; she was the hunter-jumper champion; she was the devoted mama; she was the steady therapeutic riding horse; she was the content retiree. And then the fetlocks dropped, and the weight melted off, and her skin and coat deteriorated--all as a result of DSLD/ESPA.

Yes, it was time. Yes, she was ready. But damn, it hurts.

Canter off into fields perpetually green, dear girl, joining Dew and Elizabeth… three redheads, together again.

[arabhorse2]

Condolences, Helen.

We always second guess ourselves, but try not to beat yourself up too much. She was ready, and was tired of trying. Thank you for giving her this last, best gift of freedom from her failing body.

Godspeed, Jewel.

[alittlegray]

So sorry about your loss, it is so hard to move past the hurt and sorrow. One day you will wake up and realize the memories don't bring sad anymore, only a smile.

[HazelG]

I'm sorry for your loss Helen

[Calamber]

I am very sorry for the loss of your Jewell. She sounded like all that anyone could ever hope for in an equine friend. Blessings and peace to you.

[Sobriska]

Of course you did right. She is whole again.
<HUGS>

[crosscreeksh]

So sorry for your loss. It is never easy, but always right.

[macmtn]

Hugs

[Kate66]

You did the right thing. Don't ever second guess yourself. You did what was right at the time and Jewel in her heart was forever grateful to you. She is happy where she is now. Hugs to you.

[BasqueMom]

More hugs....what a great gal she was! And she always be there in your heart!

[Tiger Horse]

So sorry for your loss. It sounds as though you did all you could and in the end did exactly the right thing. ((hugs))

[elsbet]

Many hugs to you on the loss of your precious Jewel......it's never easy, and I hope that one day you will be able to laugh again when you talk about her. She knew love.

Godspeed, Jewel.

[vtdobes]

I'm so sorry for your loss....as I sit here crying because I'll be doing the same thing tomorrow with my mare...

It's so very hard...

[Dare1]

Sorry for your loss.

vtdobes will be thinking of you tomorrow. hugs to both of you.

[Helen of NC]

I'll be thinking of you, vtdobes. And yes, it's incredibly hard... one of the hardest things I've ever done. But as others have mentioned, it is the ultimate act of love. I keep reminding myself of that.

[Superminion]

Jingles and many, many hugs to both of you.

[Helen of NC]

I have over twenty-two years' worth of memories, photos, ribbons... love. I also have Jewel's 14-year-old daughter, Stella, the spitting image of her mother. I see Jewel in Stella's eyes, in her profile, and in her calm stoicism. She's handled the loss of her mother incredibly well, and her pasture-mates--two oldsters--have taken her under their collective wing. One of the hardest things I had to do after Jewel's passing, was writing the e-mail to my now 31-year-old son; Jewel was his Pony Club horse many, many years ago. Making it all the more difficult was the fact that my son is working in Antarctica, more specifically at the South Pole, and I couldn't just pick up the phone and call him.

I really appreciate everyone's supportive words... it really helps. I knew the day was coming for almost nine months, but the progression was so gradual at first. In just the last week or so of Jewel's life, things happened very, very quickly. The decision became inevitable, unavoidable--necessary--and yet so very, very heartbreaking.

http://pets.webshots.com/photo/29808...72594291RfmzfK

http://pets.webshots.com/photo/20607...72594291NkbdEb

http://pets.webshots.com/photo/23475...72594291rXUVis

http://pets.webshots.com/photo/13996...72594291EbxTyK

http://pets.webshots.com/photo/13996...72594291yiBHRe

[Somermist]

So very sorry for your loss. RIP Jewel.

[Noctis]

So sorry for your loss Helen. She looks like a GRAND mare. So many hugs for you and your son.

[HealingHeart]

Beautiful tribute to your relationship and friend. Thanks for sharing your heart