Summary - husband and I got guardianship of teenaged family members with issues. To augment their therapy, I would like to find them a book (or books) that might be helpful to them on this journey.
Let's see, how can I give background info as genericly as possible?
One parent died of cancer when both were quite young (one barely remembers parent, other does not); surviving parent was/is narcissistic substance abusing manipulator. Another thread that mentioned a book entitled "Toxic Parents" got me thinking about this thread, and wondering if there was a book out there that would be helpful. I'm considering that book, but wondering if it might be a bit harsh for a teenaged crowd...it seems more appropriate for the adult who is established enough to sever those ties, and has sufficient supportive relationships to help.
My goal is just to help these kids shed some light on things, like it's not their fault, they're not responsible for their toxic parent. I think their healing is largely dependent upon them forgiving parent; but first they will have to acknowlege all parent did wrong to them. Many, if not all of their issues can be traced back to their pitiful childhood (the compuslive lying, anger issues, etc.) and I know that in order for them to start working through that they will have to take a difficult look at this. And yet, even though I have deep sympathy for them, I also want them to move past the victim stage so they can get on to becoming the great people that they can and should be. It is a difficult balance for me as the guardian to know when to be firm and when to be more patient. Is there a self-help book for me on that one too? So far I've been sticking to the bible on that one. When I'm finding it particularly hard to love them through ugly times, I remember that my God has certainly loved me despite my unworthiness.
Despite the fact that I can honestly say their parent is absent of any redeeming quality, I do not want to villianize parent. I know that will only alienate them and make them feel like they have to make a choice. I really just am hoping there is a book geared towards this very subject that can help illuminate things and give them some perspective. Teens are such a difficult animal, kudos to anyone who works with them on a regular basis. Ok, suggest away, and hurry before they close OT day! Thanks!
Island of Heart Surrounded by the Sea of Intuition
not necessarily a self help book but a book that I read that truly help me was "Please understand me" it is an insight to the Myers Briggs Personality Test. And it actually was one of the few things that have made me feel normal. Never had a book describe how I feel about things and process info. I think both the kids and you as a guardian could benefit from learning your personality type and understanding how you deal with day to day issues. Everyone is different and having an insight in how certain people deal with issues could help with how you relate to each child. You may need to be supper Firm with one and give the other a little extra room while they process.
The Love for a Horse is just as Complicated as the Love for another Human being, If you have never Loved a Horse you will Never Understand!!!