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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct. 20, 2005

    Default When your best work friend is gone without notice

    Eek. I had two vacation days Thursday-Friday. Came back to work today, sent a Career Profile Form to fill out (for the 2nd time this year) and my manager was supposed to submit it 10/8 but didn't so can I get it done today please? So I throw it together, taking liberally from the same form I did in March. Rather than "I'm interested in training new employees," like I have put EVERY SINGLE TIME I have a performance evaluation or career profile form for ~4 years, I put "I have repeatedly expressed interest in training new employees" in the box on what are you interested in doing?

    That didn't fly with my boss, I got called into the conference room where she strongarmed me into changing it back to "I am interested in training new employees," on the basis of "Oh! I had no idea!"

    Then in the afternoon, my best work friend "Susie"- age 65 in 10 days, and with whom I have worked for 5+ years - gets called in with the boss and another coworker, Betsy. Betsy says Susie is being mean to her. (Which is not true and has not been true any of the times Betsy has said so.) Susie gets pissed and says, "That's it, I'm done," came out, wrote a resignation letter giving her last day as 11/13.

    I left while Susie was back in the conference room with the boss. Susie called me tonight saying that by mutual agreement she won't be back but will be paid until the 13th.

    I have not had to deal with a situation like this before. A liiiiiittle freaked out.

    Thanks for listening. I am not happy and have been looking occasionally...guess it's time to polish up that resume.
    It's a uterus, not a clown car. - Sayyedati

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec. 11, 2005
    Southern California - Hemet


    Yuck, I hate that kind of stuff at work. Polishing up the resume is an excellent plan.

    1 members found this post helpful.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr. 4, 2010
    yonder a bit, GA


    It's funny (well, not funny-haha) but every place i've worked has gone through waves of fine for months and then three or so great coworkers all quitting at once. Makes me panic every time, because I put a lot of weight into my interactions with coworkers in how much I enjoy working.
    The resume polishing is on my to do list as well.... unfortunately id rather pull my hair out strand by strand than do that. Gah.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb. 1, 2001
    Finally...back in civilization, more or less


    I am sorry your work life is freaking you at at the moment.

    But, although resume polishing is always a good thing to do, whether you think you need it or not, there is another way to look at the situation.

    There are any number of studies that show people leave and/or lose jobs not because of problems with competence, but essentially because of "people problems," ie, issues like the one you describe above.

    Thinking about your career evaluation form... I can see why you'd feel strong armed when your boss insisted you change your statement. I wouldn't give your boss high marks for that... but I'd also suggest that you think about a different approach to getting what you want. If you have repeatedly expressed interest in training new employees, but have not gotten the opportunity, I'd reach out to your boss to find out why. Having a sit down conversation where you discuss the issue in a collaborative way is more likely to get what you want - or at least, you may find there is some credential that you will need to acquire before you are given that opportunity.

    I still think you can do this, by the way. Give it a few days and then approach your boss and say you'd like to talk about the issue; can they let you know when they have a few minutes? Then just calmly say something like, "I was surprised that you weren't aware of my interest in training new people. Is that something you feel there might be an opportunity to do, or is there something else that I might need to do in order to be given that kind of role?"

    Then be open to hearing what the answer is, possibly reserving judgement about it until you've had some time to think it over.

    I am not defending your boss, but the reality for many bosses is that they are pulled in a lot of different directions, some of which their employees are not always aware of. There may be a political issue or turf battle with respect to whomever is currently training the new hires, for example.

    But throwing your boss under the bus, even on paper... is probably not the best way to get what you want.

    Good luck !!
    We move pretty fast for some rabid garden snails.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun. 14, 2006


    The performance review/career profile stuff can be such a joke at some places. I don't mean to hijack your post, but it is something that has been an annoyance to me for years.

    Where I worked for the last 10 years (until yesterday!), there are 5 people in IT. 4 of the 5 people, including the director of IT do the exact same kind of work. The 5th person (me) did/does everything else. "Everything Else" included some pretty high level stuff--stuff that even the IT director didn't have access to because an error could take down our whole business.

    Every year at review time, I'd ask to cross train someone and give him an outline of the tasks I was performing on a regular basis. And every year, he'd tell me that he needed me to get up to speed on what everyone else did. Bottom line, he had no idea WHAT I did despite my efforts to communicate things to him on a regular basis. If it wasn't what he was working on it didn't exist.

    I gave notice that Nov 2 would be my last day and I was moving out of state. I outlined, again, the key tasks that I perform and asked who he would like me to train on those items or if he was planning to bring in someone from outside. Crickets. Asked again. Crickets. Then was informed they were going to hire another programmer. Not someone who does the kinds of things I do because I think in his mind, I sit in my office and pick my nose all day. <shakes head>

    Finally, I just put together documentation and distributed it. About two weeks ago, the lightbulb went off off that I was in fact LEAVING and Director allowed me to do a group training on one of the key systems I manage. It basically drives our business. Without it, we don't HAVE a business. I just covered one little "easy" part that is commonly modified.

    Afterwards, IT Director said, "Wow. This is really complicated stuff. I had no idea." And that was it.

    I wish that reviews actually meant/did something.

    As for your friend leaving, can still be friends. You just won't be at work together. I'm leaving people, some of whom I've worked with for 12 years. But we will still be friends.

    Good luck!
    A good horseman doesn't have to tell anyone...the horse already knows.

    Might be a reason, never an excuse...

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov. 13, 2006
    deep in the CT wilds near...the 200yr flood zone


    Quote Originally Posted by Slewdledo View Post
    "I'm interested in training new employees."
    This expresses a desire of the employee.

    Quote Originally Posted by Slewdledo View Post
    "I have repeatedly expressed interest in training new employees."
    This is a criticism. It implies the desire to train new employees is not being fulfilled and/or being ignored.

    Quote Originally Posted by Slewdledo View Post
    That didn't fly with my boss, I got called into the conference room where she strongarmed me into changing it back to "I am interested in training new employees," on the basis of "Oh! I had no idea!"
    I'm not surprised. No boss wants something in black and white, that can be referred to later (like when trying to advance up the corporate ladder), that requires them to answer sticky questions about their managing skills.

    So, let me see if I understand the situation correctly. Four years you're been writing 'I want to train new employees' and the first time you get any response to this request is to make sure you change your sentence structure to protect your boss' interests? And your close to retirement work friend was ignored in favor of another employee's groundless accusations?

    Mmm, polishing up your resume sounds like an excellent idea, if you ask me.
    This it be all wot we want in life, wenn peoples dey loff us. ~ Willem

    2 members found this post helpful.

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