I'm new to the board but have been lurking for quite a few months and am always amazed at how supportive and kind everybody is on off-topics days.
I'm looking for some advice... I've suffered from depression/anxiety/insecurities since my teenage years (10+ years). I'm now engaged, starting to seriously plan my future, and find this is really affecting my life, and am worried my fiancee may get sick of my moods/moodiness.
How does everybody deal? I'm looking for books, methods, tips (that do not involve medication - tried that route, did not work well) on how to deal with life.
Sorry this is so long I'm just reaching out to SOMEBODY!
Thanks in advance.
My son had problems with depression and did not want to take drugs. He did two things that helped him a great deal: 1) get a good therapist, especially one that practices cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and 2) read the book "Feeling Good" by David D. Burns. It's essentially a do-it-yourself book for CBT. I see on Amazon that Burns has some other books as well.
Hugs and good luck. It's a very positive thing that you recognize that you have an issue and are willing to work on it!
Yep – Try a good therapist, and if your fianace will agree (which I hope he does!) ask him to come along for a couple’s session. And its not that *HE* needs the therapy, but it can be REALLY helpful if he understands what you are going through, and that it is a disease that you are suffering from. It can help avoid conflicts in the future, and just help him understand when you are having a hard time.
My SO of 11 years suffers from depression as well. At first, despite my degree in sociology etc I felt like telling him “what are you being down about!?! You have so much going for you! This is silly!!”
But I took a step back and realized, he doesn’t WANT to feel or think this way, it is something that happens to him despite his efforts otherwise. Seeing a therapist and being able to talk through, and understand what he struggles with allowed me to be much more supportive, understanding and sympathetic.
Now, when he hits a rough patch, I don’t get so frustrated with him, but rather try to help lift him up – and battle that monster (depression) together.
Also – If the first therapist or counselor you see doesn’t “do it for you”, don’t give up! Each one is different, try a different one and hopefully you can find a good match.
It is great that you recognize depression for what it is. But before getting married, I think it is important for your fiancÚ to understand as well.