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  1. #1

    Default COTHers Advice

    Hello All,

    I'm new to the board but have been lurking for quite a few months and am always amazed at how supportive and kind everybody is on off-topics days.

    I'm looking for some advice... I've suffered from depression/anxiety/insecurities since my teenage years (10+ years). I'm now engaged, starting to seriously plan my future, and find this is really affecting my life, and am worried my fiancee may get sick of my moods/moodiness.

    How does everybody deal? I'm looking for books, methods, tips (that do not involve medication - tried that route, did not work well) on how to deal with life.

    Sorry this is so long I'm just reaching out to SOMEBODY!
    Thanks in advance.



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar. 3, 2007
    Location
    North-Central IL
    Posts
    3,474

    Default

    Get thee to a good therapist I understand anxiety and insecurity all too well and Zoloft made me ill.
    Quarry Rat


    1 members found this post helpful.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar. 4, 2010
    Posts
    1,751

    Default

    My son had problems with depression and did not want to take drugs. He did two things that helped him a great deal: 1) get a good therapist, especially one that practices cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and 2) read the book "Feeling Good" by David D. Burns. It's essentially a do-it-yourself book for CBT. I see on Amazon that Burns has some other books as well.

    Hugs and good luck. It's a very positive thing that you recognize that you have an issue and are willing to work on it!



  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct. 26, 2007
    Location
    San Jose, Ca
    Posts
    5,118

    Default

    Yep – Try a good therapist, and if your fianace will agree (which I hope he does!) ask him to come along for a couple’s session. And its not that *HE* needs the therapy, but it can be REALLY helpful if he understands what you are going through, and that it is a disease that you are suffering from. It can help avoid conflicts in the future, and just help him understand when you are having a hard time.

    My SO of 11 years suffers from depression as well. At first, despite my degree in sociology etc I felt like telling him “what are you being down about!?! You have so much going for you! This is silly!!”

    But I took a step back and realized, he doesn’t WANT to feel or think this way, it is something that happens to him despite his efforts otherwise. Seeing a therapist and being able to talk through, and understand what he struggles with allowed me to be much more supportive, understanding and sympathetic.

    Now, when he hits a rough patch, I don’t get so frustrated with him, but rather try to help lift him up – and battle that monster (depression) together.

    Also – If the first therapist or counselor you see doesn’t “do it for you”, don’t give up! Each one is different, try a different one and hopefully you can find a good match.

    It is great that you recognize depression for what it is. But before getting married, I think it is important for your fiancé to understand as well.



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep. 11, 2011
    Posts
    1,160

    Default

    I have found a huge benefit from learning Mindfulness meditation/mindfulness based stress reduction (MBSR).
    Good luck to you!



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