[DeeThbd]

I feel like a horrible person tonight, and need some hugs and warm thoughts - been getting a wonderful ear from a dear friend, but am really hurting.
My DSO and I have been boarding for 2 years at my BO's....great lady and we have seen many cats come and go to the typical things that happen to a herd of farm kitties....lots of litters, some of whom get rehomed, some who are kept, and some who meet fates. One stunningly beautiful one who is somewhere here in my living room (my guys are strictly indoor) when the rest of her litter got killed.
Every night I give them a can of wet cat food -started it early on because they seemed to need a bit of extra when it was really cold. Well, being soft in the head, I kept giving it to them - so I am jokingly referred to as the Gooshie Lady (re: Caturday). They hear my truck and come running, and my DSO will get out and make sure everybody is clear while I park.
Today went horribly wrong.
With it being wet, one cat led my truck up the driveway (I was going at a slow walk speed) while the others were in teh barn, and she suddenly wheeled and turned and looked back. My DSO said "You went over something", and as I looked back, I saw an orange form lying beside the driveway. I ran back to see Dude lying along the driveway - he had been hanging out waiting for me under my BO"s boat or my horse trailer, and did something he never did before - ran under my truck. I still can't fathom it...I was going so slow that it wouldnt even read on my gauges.
I killed him instantly - he gave one shiver as I stroked him, and he was gone. We buried him in our paddock facing the barn, and where he always got his share of dinner.
So, please, give an extra hug to your barn kitties for me. He was a lovely, pale sand coloured cat with darker leopard spots...he would hop up on the hood of my truck, and ask to have me open the window to come visit us inside, and had a funny habit of growling while he ate.
I'm so sorry, Dude. I would turn it back in a heartbeat if I could.

[StGermain]

I'm so sorry. The Dude had it good and he knew it. Better a happy life and a quick end.

StG

[SquishTheBunny]

Im so sorry Barn cat life is great. Even thought it was short, sounds like he had a great life and a very fast passing.

[jetsmom]

I'm so sorry. I take care of the barn cats, and also feed canned each afternoon, and often have a herd of cats running near my car racing to get to the hay barn where I feed. That is one of my biggest fears. Hugs to you, as I can imagine your pain.

[Seriously_Hunter]

I'm so sorry! ((((((((((((hugs))))))))))) I can imagine how you feel. Dude felt the love you gave him. RIP Dude

[BasqueMom]

I am so sorry...hugs and Godspeed Dude!

[2DogsFarm]

{hugs}
Like my DH used to say "that's why they call them accidents"
No way on Earth you intended to harm Dude.

Better a short happy life than a long misery.
RIP, Dude.

[oliverreed]

BIG hugs. So sorry this happened. Not your fault in any way, shape or form.

[SarahandSam]

I'm so sorry. Even though it was a total accident, I can understand how awful it must feel. There was nothing you could do and it was quick. Hugs...

[DeeThbd]

Thanks, all of you, for your kindness - you are wonderful people. Trying to hold back the tears this morning, but better than last night. I realize now that it WAS an accident...just awful timing for him to run out and race my truck. My DSO is an absolute sweetheart for making me feel better too. We both used to get a real kick out of how Dude would hop up on the hood of my truck and rub against my window until I opened it and he came in for a visit. Got some cool pics of him chasing my fingers through the windshield too. Barn kitties are such awesome guys .
Thanks again,
D.

[Guin]

Oh, I am so sorry. I know how horrible I feel on the rare occasions when I end up hitting a suicidal squirrel. So, so sorry. I echo "that is why they call them 'accidents.'" At least it was quick.