The Chronicle of the Horse
MagazineNewsHorse SportsHorse CareCOTH StoreVoicesThe Chronicle UntackedDirectoriesMarketplaceDates & Results
 
Results 1 to 14 of 14
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr. 1, 2008
    Posts
    4,538

    Default I lost a friend tonight to suicide

    and although I am going to miss him, I am not overly sad about it. He was 86 years old and in good health, but I think he was weary of living and I know he was lonely. His wife died of cancer in '02 and he lived alone after that. He knew a lot of people, and he was close to his kids, but it isn't the same as living with the same person for many years.

    I'm not so sure it's a bad thing, when you've lived a long and productive life to make your own decision about when and where and how.

    I know that one of my biggest fears is to be that old lady in the nursing home who has outlived her friends and some of her children, who has decubitus ulcers and then is rushed to the ER where they do everything they can to save you, no matter how painful or futile.

    My friend avoided all of that. He was able to leave some property and instructions for how he wanted things done.

    God Speed friend...


    4 members found this post helpful.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May. 2, 2011
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    3,422

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by threedogpack View Post
    and although I am going to miss him, I am not overly sad about it. He was 86 years old and in good health, but I think he was weary of living and I know he was lonely. His wife died of cancer in '02 and he lived alone after that. He knew a lot of people, and he was close to his kids, but it isn't the same as living with the same person for many years.

    I'm not so sure it's a bad thing, when you've lived a long and productive life to make your own decision about when and where and how.

    I know that one of my biggest fears is to be that old lady in the nursing home who has outlived her friends and some of her children, who has decubitus ulcers and then is rushed to the ER where they do everything they can to save you, no matter how painful or futile.

    My friend avoided all of that. He was able to leave some property and instructions for how he wanted things done.

    God Speed friend...
    I am so sorry...prayers sent.
    "How does it feel to be one of the beautiful people?" Julian Lennon



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec. 31, 2000
    Location
    El Paso, TX
    Posts
    12,829

    Default

    I'm sorry. losing a friend is sad, even when you can kind of understand how he felt.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan. 11, 2010
    Location
    Near the beach
    Posts
    449

    Default

    I'm sorry for the loss of your friend. I think people should be able to make that decision when they are tired of living. The quality of one's life is more important than the quantity and I don't want to be that person in the nursing home being kept alive on life support either.


    3 members found this post helpful.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul. 29, 2004
    Location
    Colorado
    Posts
    1,599

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by threedogpack View Post
    I know that one of my biggest fears is to be that old lady in the nursing home who has outlived her friends and some of her children, who has decubitus ulcers and then is rushed to the ER where they do everything they can to save you, no matter how painful or futile.
    A DNR (do not resuscitate) will take care of this concern but it must be a legal DNR.


    God speed to your friend. He is with his wife now.



  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr. 5, 2007
    Location
    Tampa FL
    Posts
    663

    Default

    I'm so sorry for your loss.
    Your friend decided to leave when he felt his time came, so this way he will not have to survive through the sometimes degrading and diminishing last "extra" years that we get. I'm sure many people would want to go this way.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep. 8, 2006
    Location
    Fredericksburg, VA
    Posts
    2,476

    Default

    I don't "celebrate suicide," if you will, but I think it's great that he went out on his own terms after a good long run. I am sorry for his kids, but he may very well have spared them YEARS of watching him go down, down, down, quite possibly or probably to the point of not even recognizing them any more while also possibly depleting savings so that he could merely exist as a shell of the man they once knew him to be.


    3 members found this post helpful.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    May. 12, 2000
    Location
    NE TN, USA
    Posts
    6,201

    Default

    I have had several friends who have chosen to end their lives due to several reasons, but mainly so as not to be a burden to others.

    I watched the final pain-filled years of my parents where they were ready to go long before they finally passed. We did not feel remorse at their death, but an appreciation of the lives that they lived to their fullest.

    Recall the note that George Eastman left when he took his own life after several pain-filled years: "To my friends: my work is done. Why wait?"

    May your friend rest in peace. He's in a better place now.

    Hopefully you will find consolation in this poem my Mother requested to be read at her funeral.
    “There are two ways to conquer and enslave a nation. One is by the sword. The other is by debt.”
    John Adams



  9. #9
    Join Date
    Nov. 1, 2007
    Location
    ....in a classroom in Fl, by the ocean
    Posts
    3,817



  10. #10
    Join Date
    Aug. 10, 2010
    Location
    Western NY
    Posts
    1,662

    Default

    I had to euthanize my elderly dog on Monday. It was time, and though I am sad I know it was the right thing. But I always think of the disparity with human end-of-life issues. I supported Dr. Kevorkian.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Oct. 9, 2000
    Location
    California
    Posts
    8,265

    Default

    I'm so sorry for your loss. It sounds like he was a brave man and took care of things the way he wanted to - good for him.
    My Mustang Adventures - Mac, my mustang | Annwylid D'Lite - my Cob filly

    "A horse's face always conveys clearly whether it is loved by its owner or simply used." - Anja Beran



  12. #12
    Join Date
    Mar. 10, 2009
    Posts
    5,550

    Default

    I'm sorry you lost your friend.

    I've said before that there are two conditions under which I would absolutely take my own life: diagnosis of either Alzheimer's/progressive dementia or ALS. Both progress to a point where existence is no more than a sheer living hell, and I refuse to be a burden to my family and loved ones. I'd end it before the disease robbed me of the ability to do so.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jun. 11, 2006
    Location
    Berryville, VA
    Posts
    2,898

    Default

    One of my best friends just took her own life. It has been heart-breaking to those around her (although her circumstances are much different that your friends). She left behind a 13yo, 11yo, and 2yo daughters and many unanswered questions. I firmly believe if someone is of a sound mind, they should be able to take their own life. However, in many cases Depression clouds their judgement and makes the situation in their mind far worse than it really is.

    I also agree with the comment about the dog being put-down. If people were animals, many of us would cry out about prolonging a life that is filled with suffering. However, because we are human beings, we are expected to carry on no matter if every day is a living hell.
    Boarding for Show, Pleasure, and Retirement horses. www.LockeMeadows.com



  14. #14
    Join Date
    Nov. 18, 2011
    Location
    Toronto, Ontario
    Posts
    80

    Default

    May your friend rest in peace.



Similar Threads

  1. Lost My Best Friend...
    By PinkPonies in forum Off Course
    Replies: 24
    Last Post: Jul. 27, 2012, 01:08 AM
  2. I lost my best friend today
    By Arrows Endure in forum The Menagerie
    Replies: 28
    Last Post: Nov. 11, 2011, 08:43 AM
  3. Lost a good barn cat tonight...
    By McVillesMom in forum Around The Farm
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: Oct. 7, 2009, 08:35 PM
  4. Lost my beautiful Roo and her unborn foal tonight
    By lilypondlane in forum Sport Horse Breeding
    Replies: 79
    Last Post: Jan. 31, 2009, 08:50 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
randomness