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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan. 4, 2008
    Location
    Columbus, OH
    Posts
    768

    Default I think I hate my boyfriend...

    I will spare the details, but basically I am my boyfriends live in babysitter and I have hit the end of my rope. I truly think I hate him. I cannot find a single redeeming quality if I sit here and think about it. I want to leave him.

    The down side is I will have to move back with my parents until I can get back on my feet. I also have very little in the way of a support system. I tend to be shy and enjoy being alone. I make acquaintances easily but don't put the work in to continue them to friendship status. So besides one good friend that I don't see often, I don't have much in the way of support.

    I feel as though this relationship has left me stranded and I'm too scared to get out. Fighting is multiple times daily, and if I even mention leaving he tells me he is calling the cops to supervise my exit and then he starts throwing all of my stuff out the door. In the effort to save my stuff and my sanity I try to repair the relationship so that I won't have to deal with the situation at the moment.

    Any advice or words of support?



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov. 26, 2006
    Location
    Minnesota
    Posts
    709

    Default

    Leave.

    Leave now.

    If being in the relationship is not better than being single, then leave. It sounds like an unhealthy relationship and some space would do you good.


    18 members found this post helpful.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun. 14, 2006
    Location
    VA
    Posts
    11,372

    Default

    Advice? GET [edit] OUT.

    Support? Pack your things and plan an exit for when he is not home. If you want to go to a shelter instead of home w/ mom and dad, that is an option.'

    Just STAY SAFE okay? It's not cool for someone to be throwing your crap out and screaming at you. That's ABUSIVE.

    So...

    GET [edit] OUT (loving way, loving way)

    Survive.

    In that order. And you can.

    ((hugs))
    Last edited by Moderator 1; Oct. 31, 2012 at 01:21 AM. Reason: language
    A good horseman doesn't have to tell anyone...the horse already knows.

    Might be a reason, never an excuse...


    31 members found this post helpful.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb. 16, 2012
    Location
    TN
    Posts
    561

    Default

    I can't add anything to what buddyroo said because it's dead on

    go go now....

    ....if you lived in my area we could be good "friends" I have the same social tallent from the sounds of it


    3 members found this post helpful.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan. 23, 2000
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    8,055

    Default

    Pack before you tell him, and GTFO immediately. Be prepared to be GONE at the first sign of hissy fit.
    ---
    They're small hearts.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep. 5, 2007
    Posts
    1,110

    Default

    He can't call the cops to supervise him throwing your things out. YOU can call the cops to supervise YOU removing YOUR things without interference from him.

    GET OUT. Like others have said, you can do it quietly, and do it when he's gone if at all possible. If it's not, call a the Sheriff's office and see if you can get a deputy out to help you. What he is doing is abusive.


    11 members found this post helpful.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan. 4, 2008
    Location
    Columbus, OH
    Posts
    768

    Default

    Ugh, there have been so many red flags. I have no idea why I have let it go on this long, and its only been a year. We dated in high school, then spent eight years apart, and got back together almost exactly a year ago. I feel so stupid, when all others around me have been suggesting it's not a healthy relationship. I know its not! I hate every minute of it. He relies on me for everything, and then my health and well being is of no importance to him. I truly despise the position I'm in right now.

    I fall asleep every night saying tomorrow will be the day I don't come back. Well, tomorrow I will. I will not do this anymore, I deserve happiness.


    26 members found this post helpful.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Sep. 26, 2010
    Posts
    5,202

    Default

    Do you know anyone who can help you box up your stuff while your BF is not around? If he is this unstable, then I would recommend not boxing up your stuff until you can do do with at least one or two other people if at all possible. How far away are your parents? Would they be available to help you on short notice?

    If you think it might take more than a few days to gather some help, then I'd get out now assuming you can fit everything in your car. If you don't have a car, you could always call a cab and pay them to wait for you while you load up all the boxes and take you somewhere safe.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan. 4, 2008
    Location
    Columbus, OH
    Posts
    768

    Default

    Yeah, I have a car. My parents are ten minutes away and my truck is at their house. I could make a clean and quick exit. His last girlfriend made the same exit, shocking!

    BTW, he is sleeping on the couch tonight because I didn't bring his phone charger in the room for him. Apparently I was supposed to psychically know he needed it. He got mad because I reminded him that he is capable of getting his own items. Not wanting to be around me, he is sleeping on the couch.
    Last edited by Bedazzle; Oct. 30, 2012 at 11:25 PM. Reason: spelling


    1 members found this post helpful.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jun. 14, 2006
    Location
    VA
    Posts
    11,372

    Default

    Hey. Don't bother wasting any time feeling "stupid". You're NOT stupid. You just got sucked in to a bad situation and you see it and you're gonna get out. K?

    No sense worrying about the 20/20 hindsight stuff. It is what it is today.

    You're not stupid. You're not weak. You are a bright young lady who is going to pick herself up, dust herself off, and move forward WITHOUT this douche canoe parasite guy. K?

    You are NOT stupid so please don't say it again. You might FEEL stupid, but honey? Most of us have done that at least once. We're just older now. Don't worry, we all make mistakes. That's okay. Try not to make the same mistake twice and you're miles ahead.

    (((hugs)))
    A good horseman doesn't have to tell anyone...the horse already knows.

    Might be a reason, never an excuse...


    17 members found this post helpful.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jul. 19, 2007
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    10,634

    Default

    Buddy Roo said it: Get [edit] out. Call your parents, pack your stuff, and go. He's useless and sounds potentially dangerous. There are far, far worse things than being single and the reason men behave like that is they for some reason still can keep a girlfriend while doing it. Don't be that girlfriend. He doesn't deserve someone taking care of him, and you deserve to not be stuck as a grown adult's babysitter.
    Last edited by Moderator 1; Oct. 31, 2012 at 02:43 PM. Reason: language


    6 members found this post helpful.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Mar. 4, 2004
    Location
    Louisville, KY
    Posts
    4,023

    Default

    Good decisions come from experience, and experience comes from bad decisions.

    You now have plenty of experience (unfortunately). Hugs.
    Caitlin
    *OMGiH I Loff my Mare* and *My Saddlebred Can Do Anything Your Horse Can Do*
    http://community.webshots.com/user/redmare01


    5 members found this post helpful.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Nov. 2, 2001
    Location
    Packing my bags
    Posts
    33,602

    Default

    Tomorrow is the first day f the rest of your life.
    Buddy Roo said it.
    best wishes and many jingles!
    Don't be a victim!
    Quote Originally Posted by Bristol Bay View Post
    Try setting your broomstick to fly at a lower altitude.



  14. #14
    Join Date
    Jul. 31, 2007
    Posts
    15,564

    Default

    Honey, do you want me to come over and help you GTFO?

    Seriously, so many of your friends and family would prolly do this for you.

    Don't waste a second feeling stupid. Stupid is putting up with many more years of this.

    And you are his babysitter? WTF?
    The armchair saddler
    Politically Pro-Cat


    6 members found this post helpful.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Dec. 4, 2005
    Location
    washington state
    Posts
    9,731

    Default

    Yeah, I'll come over with mvp. Then you can video us making him bawl and whine like a baby and post it for everyones enjoyment.

    Get the French Toast out of there already lady!
    The Knotted Pony

    Proud and upstanding member of the Snort and Blow Clique.


    6 members found this post helpful.

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Nov. 2, 2001
    Location
    Packing my bags
    Posts
    33,602

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by mvp View Post
    Honey, do you want me to come over and help you GTFO?

    Seriously, so many of your friends and family would prolly do this for you.

    Don't waste a second feeling stupid. Stupid is putting up with many more years of this.

    And you are his babysitter? WTF?
    Quote Originally Posted by twotrudoc View Post
    Yeah, I'll come over with mvp. Then you can video us making him bawl and whine like a baby and post it for everyones enjoyment.

    Get the French Toast out of there already lady!

    oh gosh!





    Quote Originally Posted by Bristol Bay View Post
    Try setting your broomstick to fly at a lower altitude.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  17. #17

    Default

    It could be worse.. you could have married the guy! Get out now and don't let the door hit you on your way out.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  18. #18

    Default

    Please get out, take care of yourself, you deserve to be happy.
    for more Joy then you can handle
    http://dangerbunny.blogspot.com/


    1 members found this post helpful.

  19. #19
    Join Date
    Dec. 4, 2005
    Location
    washington state
    Posts
    9,731

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Alagirl View Post
    oh gosh!





    You come too, we'll tear that boy up!
    The Knotted Pony

    Proud and upstanding member of the Snort and Blow Clique.


    3 members found this post helpful.

  20. #20
    Join Date
    Sep. 26, 2010
    Posts
    5,202

    Default

    If your parents are that close, get your truck and get your crap out of there, like tomorrow.

    Other advice - make sure your cellphone is charged if you go in alone. Have it set up for quick dial to your parents or the cops if your BF goes ballistic.



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