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  1. #41
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    Jan. 27, 2002
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    dh says men are so low they're like whale sh!t and that's at the bottom of the ocean.



  2. #42
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    Sep. 26, 2010
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    "
    *Willie Sutton was a '30s era bank robber. When a reporter asked him why he robbed banks his answer was, "Because that's where the money is." "


    Or in more modern terms: "Follow the Money"



  3. #43
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    Jan. 27, 2002
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    i think he sounds interested tle!
    and don't sweat it, he knows you're not a practiced flirt, maybe he appreciates that about you.
    i'd offer to make dinner for him, or do it spontaneously one day so there's no anticipatory anxiety for either one of you.
    and keep us posted!!!!!!


    1 members found this post helpful.

  4. #44
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    Jul. 22, 2008
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    Rochester, NY
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    Quote Originally Posted by ridingagain View Post
    Well... sorry for being Debbie Downer, but I think if your neighbor liked you "that way" he would have asked you out by now. Men go for what they want. Read "He's Just Not That Into You" for a reality check. I've always found that friends make the best date finders. Ditto the suggestion to do volunteer work or take up golf - mostly men at the driving range! Someone will come along...don't worry!

    I do disagree with the first part... I have been asked out plenty but it is almost ALWAYS by the guys one doesn't want to go out with. Men are just as prone to the "Crap, why didn't I pursue that person?" as women are.

    I am lousy at doing the asking, but even my fumbling efforts are generally well received. Men are also just as inclined to find sincere, non-desperate interest from a nice person as endearing as most women do. Ask him to grab a beer ("Neighbor, it's been great chatting. I had a long day and am going to go grab a beer, want to join me?") or taking him to a low key dinner as thanks for all his help and good neighbor-ness is a great idea.

    Wish I could help with other places to meet guys- I met mine at the bar after I had really sincerely given up on meeting anyone. I will 2x Guilherme though- you gotta go where they are. The bar I found my SO at is a cigar & scotch joint, very boys club esque. I am routinely the only female in the place. I didn't do it on purpose but it worked in my favor.
    bar.ka think u al.l. susp.ect
    free bar.ka and tidy rabbit


    1 members found this post helpful.

  5. #45
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    Sep. 16, 2010
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    Michigan
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    I feel like we should just make this thread sticky, because it seriously happens every time there's an OT day

    My suggestions:
    1. participate in something new. http://www.meetup.com/ can help you find interesting new groups to try out.

    2. go to happy hours, seminars, etc. related to your career. professional networking events can be a good way to expand your social network.

    3. Take a class. I just started getting a masters in business. It's something I've been wanting to do for myself -- but has also turned out to be a great way to meet interesting people (especially guys). An MBA isn't for everybody, but choosing something new to learn, whether it's a language, or art, or something else, can be a great way to meet cool new people.



  6. #46
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    Nov. 1, 2007
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    Quote Originally Posted by LexInVA View Post
    Chicken salad works every time as a date dish. You get filled and eat something relatively healthy.

    CHICKEN SALAD?!?! If she is trying to impress this man she needs to put a little bit of effort, but not too much. something like: a steak, or grilled chicken breast. But there needs to be a side dish or two. And I say this, because the longer they eat the more time they get to know each other. Don't get me wrong, I love a good chicken salad, but its a simple dish and can be eaten as a sandwich.

    She needs something that involves picking up and putting down a knife, the meal will take longer then.

    steak, potatoes au gratin, and a steamed veg. NICE! The steak can be done in the oven as well as the potatoes, and steaming vegetables is easy. Nice bottle of red that you happen to have and there you have it. you can thank me at the wedding.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  7. #47
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    Jan. 20, 2004
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    La Habra Heights, CA
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    Seriously: Golf lessons, then go to the putting green and the range and knock a golf ball around. There, you will find lots of friendly, helpful, clean-cut guys with hobbies (as in - passionate hardworking people, not losers) who will happily approach a single female to offer pointers
    --o0o--



  8. #48
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    Jul. 19, 2007
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    Michigan
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    Also, the average restaurant chicken salad isn't "healthy." (To be honest, restaurant food is not healthy. It tastes better than your home food because everything has added fat somewhere--butter, oil, cream, you name it, it's in there.)

    Personally I find friends to be HORRIBLE date-finders. Mine have a lousy track record coming up with 'matches' for me. Oddly, I get similar hits from Match.com--seriously, do I have anywhere on my profile/in my interactions with friends that remotely suggests 'short shaved head/bald geek with facial hair' is EVER going to happen? (Corollary to friend in New York: If he is politically liberal, WHAT ARE YOU SMOKING? WILL NEVER, EVER, HAPPEN. The farthest left I am willing to go is Tory, which is somewhat left of the American right.) No, btw, I've never gone out with anyone who matches any part of that description except 'geek' and all those dates I was just hoping to get to the end without any awkward physical contact after five minute's conversation.

    Match.com just seems to pop up similar 'you might be a redneck' physical specimens, and guys/software ignoring the must-haves under politics. OKCupid...uh, yeah, CREEPY GUYS.



  9. #49
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    Dec. 19, 2008
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    Quote Originally Posted by MunchingonHay View Post
    CHICKEN SALAD?!?! If she is trying to impress this man she needs to put a little bit of effort, but not too much. something like: a steak, or grilled chicken breast. But there needs to be a side dish or two. And I say this, because the longer they eat the more time they get to know each other. Don't get me wrong, I love a good chicken salad, but its a simple dish and can be eaten as a sandwich.

    She needs something that involves picking up and putting down a knife, the meal will take longer then.

    steak, potatoes au gratin, and a steamed veg. NICE! The steak can be done in the oven as well as the potatoes, and steaming vegetables is easy. Nice bottle of red that you happen to have and there you have it. you can thank me at the wedding.
    I think Lex was responding to my post where I was disappointed not only by my date but by the fact that I ordered the salad instead of the steak (especially when he was buying.) (Lex, correct me if I'm wrong... though I know you will! )

    I agree - cook the man a good meal - something hearty and with substance. That is usually well received.



  10. #50
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    Mar. 30, 2007
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    Yes, that is what I was saying in regards to your ordering.
    Thus do we growl that our big toes have, at this moment, been thrown up from below!



  11. #51
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    Aug. 25, 2008
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    Florida
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    I'm in the same boat (nothing on match.com, like okcupid much better, although truthfully I am not sure online dating is that great for me). Went to a couple of parties this week where there were some single guys (Halloween is a GREAT holiday, btw) and got some advice from a single guy friend of mine (who is sadly not interested in me). So I followed it, and asked another guy friend at the same party out. Only to find that he IS interested in me, but has complicating circumstances right now (like an on-again, off-again relationship). So I won't pursue that one, but at least I talked to someone.

    Talked to someone else who wasn't interested in me except as a friend, but at least I got out, made some new friends, and had a good time. And it was FUN! I didn't drink too much, make a fool of myself, or do anything stupid, but I felt more social, and learned a little bit more about what I would like to have in someone I date. I am going out with someone from OK cupid next week, and they seem nice enough - not sure we have enough in common, but I'll certainly give them a chance - who knows? And I'm talking to a couple of other guys on the site - probably won't go anywhere, but then I have some real-life friends to do stuff with (my surfing buddies), and I'm making more friends, and they have other friends, so, I am making progress. I was SO isolated before, and it showed.



  12. #52
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    Aug. 25, 2008
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    Oh, and I'm also realizing that a lot of my hesitation is ME. I am really busy, and not entirely ready to let someone in again. I like my life the way it is, and it will have to be someone really special to make me unsettle myself.



  13. #53
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    Nov. 1, 2007
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    oh sorry guys....carry chicken salad on.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  14. #54
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    Jan. 9, 2007
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    Massachusetts
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    Don't be afraid of making eye contact with someone you are attracted to, it goes a long way!



  15. #55
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    Sep. 5, 1999
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    Central FL
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    For goodness sake, just do it.

    "Mr. Neighbor, would you like to go to lunch at (wherever) next Saturday at 2pm?"



    There. Now, he can counter with "yes", "no", or a "can't make it then, how about (whatever).


    Don't dilly dally by saying "sometime". Sometime=never.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  16. #56
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    Mar. 22, 2007
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    Bremo Bluff, Virginia
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    So, I first met DH at the vet clinic where I worked over his cat's UTI. His sister worked with me and set us up a few months later. I remembered him as "Nice smile, cares for his pets." It can happen when you least expect it.

    Quote Originally Posted by danceronice View Post
    Also, the average restaurant chicken salad isn't "healthy." (To be honest, restaurant food is not healthy. It tastes better than your home food because everything has added fat somewhere--butter, oil, cream, you name it, it's in there.)
    Not totally true. They also add a ton of salt!

    Quote Originally Posted by Snowflake View Post
    I think Lex was responding to my post where I was disappointed not only by my date but by the fact that I ordered the salad instead of the steak (especially when he was buying.) (Lex, correct me if I'm wrong... though I know you will! )
    It seemed to impress DH on our first date that I ordered something fairly substantial (ie, not rabbit food). It impressed him even more when we decided to get after-dinner drinks in lieu of dessert and I got the Jameson's.
    "In the beginning, the universe was created. This made a lot of people angry and has widely been considered as a bad move." -Douglas Adams



  17. #57
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    Jul. 19, 2008
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    Vermont
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    Tle: he's interested. He took the effort to clarify what he meant by saying "fairy" because he didn't want to sound silly, which means he cares what you think. I vote for the odd job around the house, followed by a cold beer and possibly an impromptu dinner (have something prepped, like the steak/potato dinner, so you can get it together in not too much time). GL and keep us posted.


    4 members found this post helpful.

  18. #58
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    Oct. 1, 2004
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    Magnolia, TX
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tommy's Girl View Post
    Tle: he's interested. He took the effort to clarify what he meant by saying "fairy" because he didn't want to sound silly, which means he cares what you think. I vote for the odd job around the house, followed by a cold beer and possibly an impromptu dinner (have something prepped, like the steak/potato dinner, so you can get it together in not too much time). GL and keep us posted.
    Agree, but I think looking for an odd job and fixing him dinner is over-complicating things. Go buy some steaks, and ask him if he's any good at working a grill... or offer to trade him one for a beer. No pretense or trying to hard. If you start trying to get fancy, you're apt to convey desperation and run him off. Be friends. Hang out. The rest will follow.
    Jer 29: 11-13


    3 members found this post helpful.

  19. #59
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    Jul. 19, 2007
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    Quote Originally Posted by GypsyQ View Post


    Not totally true. They also add a ton of salt!

    LOL, true--I mean, yes, there's a reason (food tastes a LOT better with added salt, that's what salt DOES) but some chefs are a bit heavy-handed. Of course, partially that's because a lot of chefs smoke and overestimate how much you need to actually affect the flavor...

    If you DO go on a date to a restaurant, just make sure everyone dresses right. There was a guy in, clearly on a date...in a wife-beater shirt. Seriously. ALL of us (we have a front-house line so the cooks are in view of the customers) were like "..Really? Really, dude?" (And it wasn't a good look on him. I mean, really. Eyes cannot unsee...)



  20. #60
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    Jul. 11, 2004
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    Quote Originally Posted by suz View Post
    dh says men are so low they're like whale sh!t and that's at the bottom of the ocean.
    Well, that's the attitude that'd make a guy want to be with somebody.

    Anyway, I guess it depends on what she thinks she has to offer a guy. Guys hate drama and they don't like to be 4th fiddle to a horse, dog, cats or any other hobby. Just who is your competition? The girl at 20 goes with guys older and more successful than she is...it's the "power" of her looks and youth.

    The older guy going with a younger female is labeled "cradle robbing" and accused of going with someone just because of her youth and beauty (as if that's a bad idea). Let's see, old with attitude and maybe a kid or two, getting fat and perhaps out of shape...vs...young, healthy with a good attitude and no kids....hmmm, quite a conundrum.

    That older women can't compete with younger healthier women...too bad. A young guy can't compete with an older guy with money, house, decent car etc...also, too bad.

    An honest opinion of "what do I have to offer a guy...why should he want to be with me?" It's a simple question. Guys don't want to be a wallet, they don't want to raise some other guy's kid, they don't want attitude or drama. They want to see a female who can smile who seems like they're having fun and are enjoying life....not a scowling pissed off person that dislikes men for not liking what she believes he should like and value.

    Comments of "he's threatened by a strong woman" is one of these pissed off labels thrown about. What she sees as "strong" he sees as something very very different (and wants nothing to do with).

    Good luck and happy hunting....just be someone he might want to spend time with.
    "Sic Gorgiamus Allos Subjectatos Nunc"


    1 members found this post helpful.

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