[stolen virtue]

OK, everyone understands that "they" do not get to say "no moodswings" I think others may differ.

[FalseImpression]

I am now 61. I had BC in '99 and chemo. I had my last period 3 weeks after my last chemo treatment. I was on tamoxifen for 5 years and did have night sweats only in the summer while taking those meds.
No night sweats since I quit taking them in '05.
I just had a recurrence and am back on anti-estrogen meds, but no night sweats so far.
My mom had absolutely no symptoms when she went through menopause in her fifties.

[22Almonds]

I'm 52, about 2 yrs into it. Hot flashes are mild, but I did have a couple of extremely heavy periods which went on for weeks; after the second one I went to the Dr. and got a low dose BC pill, which put things back in sync. I am closing in on one year since my last period, and good riddance--I never had kids, but did have horrible cramps all my life.

Unfortunately, the other thing to which I have said goodbye is my sex drive. Gone. No fantasies, no enjoyment in viewing the male form. Nada. DH has been very understanding, which makes me feel even worse. Doctor hasn't been much help so far. So that part definitely sucks.

[anna's girl]

I'm 51 and the only symptom i have is my periods aren't quite as regular, but not even that is really noticeable. I'm ready for it to come on and be over with. My mother had a hysterectomy and my grandmother doesn't remember hers lol. So i have no reference for my family history.
Like someone mentioned i'm afraid of losing my sex drive too.
How are the post menopausal women doing with the libido?

[Sannois]

I'm 54, started around 50. No more periods for 2 years now.
Hot flashes are minimal now. They were annoying but never that bad.
I find I am very grumpy and moody a bunch. No sex drive as someone else said. Could care less. The worst symptom of Menopause I have found is the lack of metabolism. I work out at the gym, never eat junk and I STILL cannot get rid of my obnoxious belly. Something I NEVER had when I was young.
Never did HRT. Too scared of the side effects. All in all I cannot complain too much.

[Bluey]

I'm 51 and the only symptom i have is my periods aren't quite as regular, but not even that is really noticeable. I'm ready for it to come on and be over with. My mother had a hysterectomy and my grandmother doesn't remember hers lol. So i have no reference for my family history.
Like someone mentioned i'm afraid of losing my sex drive too.
How are the post menopausal women doing with the libido?

As is obvious, everyone is different.
I didn't have any problems to speak of.
Very regular all my life, if heavy and bad cramps was my lot.
Once in peri-menopause, rarely a few hot flashes at night.
That ended with a whisper at 56.
No problems at all with libido all along.

Get a good gynecologist to check you over.
There may be a reason for your problems.
If it is hormonal, why not try some for a few months?
Could even be "low T" in some women.
Hormone action is a very interesting dance of several.
Keep looking, something may come up that can help you get back to normal.

[Bravestrom]

I will be 50 in february - I can't believe it because I sure don't feel like it. The only things I have noticed is that my periods are all over the place, one extremely heavy day and I never know when it is coming, but it comes in gushes.

I am determined not to have menopause affect me - and when I am determined, it usually works.

[Mara]

Amen to the night sweats sucking big time. As BuddyRoo mentioned, it is a DRENCHING sweat, requiring a full change of clothing right down to underwear and all. First I have to towel off - it's that bad. And yeah, what wakes you up is the fact that you're shivering cold.

Fortunately I'm not having them all that often (yet). It's probably 7-8 days per month. If it gets more frequent I'll try the black cohosh tea.

Oh yeah - I have ALWAYS resented having to spend good money on tampons! Last time I got some odd looks as I was putting them in my cart, because I was muttering, "look, you stupid uterus, I'm tired of spending money on you. You're never going to get a baby - haven't you figured that out after 30 years? Just stop already!"

[Donkaloosa]

Not hot flashes --- they are called POWER SURGES! Mine tend to come when I'm standing in the checkout line at a store.

[slp]

I'm 53 and haven't had a period for 9 months...and am going to the doctor tomorrow for my annual and to get on SOMETHING for the hot flashes and especially night sweats. Since the beginning of the year I wake up at least 3 times a night with terrible flashes, and usually more than 3. The one night I slept through them for 8 hours was when my son gave me one of his Ambien. I take the over the counter stuff (Estroven, I-Cool) and where they used to help a bit they don't anymore.

[HungarianHippo]

curious-- how do you know when it's safe to jettison the BC? Is there a blood test they can do? I'm 44 and have used an IUD for 10 years. For me the IUD stopped menstruation entirely, so I don't have that signal to judge menopause status. I do have night sweats occasionally, so I assume I've started down that path. I've never had kids but my sisters seem to get preggers just looking at their husbands, and my grandmother had a surprise baby at 48, I *really* don't want to risk it. No reason I can't keep using the IUD, but just wondering how I'll know that it's not needed.

[Sannois]

From what I understand there is a blood test that shows certain hormone levels, Best check with your OBGYN.

[Skeezix]

I started about 43. I think [hope] I am on the back side of things now. Haven't had a period in over a year, but every time I think I am really reaching the end, the hot flashes and night sweats come back.

For me the hardest thing to deal with has been the sleep deprivation. I used to sleep pretty well, but I haven't in a long time. I think that probably drives the mood swings for me, and I hate it when I can't get a coherent sentence out of my mouth.

I have not done any hormone therapy or taken anything, but at times it has been hard to deal with.

[Digit2009]

I'll be so happy when the whole thing is done with. Had SERIOUS cramps for a full year preceding the start of my period at 12 y/o, SERIOUS cramps for years after I started. 1-2 days in bed w/pain killer/muscle relaxant and a hot pad on my belly, every month. Saw multiple doctors (all male (mid 70s), who said is was in my head???) Finally when I was 20 y/o a female doctor recommended an ultrasound. Why no one did before and I did not think about it, have no idea. Tumor on the ovaries, the size of a grapefruit. I was in surgery w/in days. Unfortunately not w/the same female Dr. (she did no surgery). The 1st words the male Dr said to my mother when I was wheeled out? " Well you'll never be a grandmother"
I was left w/ 1/4 of 1 ovary. Was told my period could take a long time to be normal again, or even come back. Menopause would probably be early. And kids? probably not. So period was 2 days late the following month and was regular after that. I got pregnant at 27 (right after my period, supposedly safe, and using protection LOL)
I'm now 49. Blood test show I'm in pre menopause (only? come on now!) Periods are all over the place, from a low of 20 days to a high of 55, lasting from heavy 2 days, to mild 12 days (wth?) No warning they're coming either.
Having to wear panty liners every single day sucks :-)
No hot flashes at all, ever (knock on wood) Have had the occasional night sweat for years. Moods? Yea well have always had those LOL
I take black cohosh and drink calming green teas :-) Go trough periods of insomnia
Yep will be very happy when it's all over LOL
And YES, if men went through all this, a safe solution/remedy would have been found eons ago. Or the human race would be extinct, 'cause they would never have kids LOL

[oliverreed]

53 and no period for - oh, about 7 years? STILL have night sweats and daily hot flashes (oddly enough, only when I am at work). Fun when one of those hits in a high level meeting. Overall though it's a blessing to be done with it all. I take flaxseed oil, I think it helps. Never had a mood swing post - had plenty with PME pre.

My mom and grandmother had zero issues. I am jealous.

[rodawn]

I'm 43 and I get a few of them, but I tend to zzz right through them. I might wake up in the morning and realize my hair or nightshirt are a bit damp. I notice they tend to start a couple days before my period and then stop and I'm fine until the next cycle is pending and so it has become my new warning system. The cycle has changed too, although my cycle has never been all that reliably regular enough to even be called a cycle (which implies some sort of regularity and predictability). I truly thought I would be one of those women who shut down early, especially since I never had kids. But here I am at 43 and maybe just starting into the peri phase now. I'm adopted so I have no idea what to expect, but I'm looking forward to the freedom as I've always viewed my "cycle" (or noncycle as it were) to be an annoying nuisance. I've not yet had difficulties with sleeping. I'm usually asleep within seconds of hitting the pillow and will wake up in the morning some 8 hours later usually only because the bladder has demanded some attention. I hope that continues because I do so enjoy my sleep. I have noticed that I dream more now, or rather I remember my dreams or remember that I had been dreaming about something, enough to recall they were in full color or black/white, usually about people I do not know but thought I knew in the dream. Weird.

[moodymaretoo]

Mine started going wonky at about 36ish, now nothing for the past 3 years..
confirmed Menopause by my Dr.s.. I'll be 40 next year. I'm tickled except for the God awful night sweats and hot flashes... nothing like sitting at your desk at work and some asshat jacks the thermostat up 120 degrees...

[jetsmom]

49 and no signs so far, unless they are so minimal I'm missing them.

[JoZ]

I had my last period at age 40. My mom was 37 when I was born and I was repeatedly referred to as a "change of life baby" (before I even knew what that meant... for years I thought I just changed her life!). So I didn't even realize I was earlier than most. I think my sisters started symptoms in their early to mid 40s.

I had NO warning -- regular period then nothing. All symptoms started after the period itself was gone. I had horrendous night sweats but they were preferable to the fearsome (and mercifully rare) day sweat. Nothing like turning purple and soaking wet in public for a bit of emotional discomfort!

I have had problems with depression post-menopause (and definitely not related to the end of reproductive possibilities or any other part of the experience, in other words I'm not depressed ABOUT something, menopause or anything else). It is much harder to lose weight.

Now, 13 years after my last period, my weight, metabolism and everything else may just be the new me, no longer "hormonal". Nonetheless I have just sprung for a 3-month supply of Amberen. Anyone tried that? I'm giving it a shot. I dropped a lot of weight when I dropped gluten from my diet but now I've stalled again.

The only thing I actually MISS is what I used to refer to as nesting frenzy. I could accomplish incredible things related to organizing or cleaning the house/barn/universe about 48 hours before my period. Godshonesttruth, I sometimes would cancel plans so as not to miss that, when I felt it coming on.

[JanDinWA]

I started peri-menopause around 48. I didn't have hot flashes or night sweats, I was just hot all the time. I had a hard time sleeping because of it and ended up being very sleep deprived so I went on hormone therapy which was a tremendous help. I've been on it ever since and will be 65 soon. My family doesn't have much history of cancer so it wasn't too big a risk and I take very low doses (less than low dose birth control). My mother did have osteoporosis and I have osteopenia so my doctors think I should stay on it to help my bones. Libido is down but not out. I did have some depression the first 2 years, but am back to normal now. Good luck to everyone going through this!!