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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar. 14, 2010
    Location
    Earlysville, Virginia
    Posts
    3,250

    Default My horses are home...and a vent

    I had kept my boys at my ex SOs farm for the past few years. We broke up last week, and I had to suddenly move in with my parents. Luckily, I was also able to move my horses to my parents small farm. The cats havent been able to join me yet (due to possible kitty conflict) but they are safe where they are.

    I am so lucky that my parents have a lovely basement apartment for me. And even more lucky that they have 5 acres and an amazing barn for my horses to stay in. I'm really just so thankful to have parents that care so much.

    The vent--I've now learned not to depend on anyone financially. I recently took a lower paying job (that makes me happier) because my SO agreed to help support me so that I'd be happy. I kept my horses at SOs farm, board free, and we never had to buy hay or grain. Well, now I have to find hay for the winter, and find a way to pay for it. I also can't afford to live by myself--thank god my parents allow me to stay with them for free. I can keep my elderly gelding on his meds, and keep my other gorgeous gelding without having to board themsomewhere.

    Over all, I'm just thankful for wonderful parents who aren't horsey at all, but support me and love me. I've learned so much and am motivated to change my life for the better. When you have animals, being financially independent is important. Lesson learned!
    Charlie Brown (1994 bay TB X gelding)
    White Star (2004 grey TB gelding)

    Mystical Moment, 1977-2010.



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun. 15, 2010
    Posts
    2,461

    Default

    Sorry about the unplanned lifestyle change. Sounds like this is the absolute best case scenario everything considered. At least you aren't scrambling to pay for board on top of everything else right. I hope that things smooth out and you're able to get everything together by winter. Maybe a job with a more comfortable pay will open up and help you handle the difference.



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb. 2, 2003
    Location
    Iowa, USA
    Posts
    2,397

    Default

    AliCat,
    sorry about the breakup. It's hard enough to deal with on its own, never mind relocating animals, major income changes, etc. I have to say it's nice to see that you are both grateful for your parents' help--AND--motivated to change things so that you're not in this position again. So many people take it for granted and treat their parents like ATM machines. You'll bounce back, all the more strong for having gone through this.



  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec. 31, 2000
    Location
    El Paso, TX
    Posts
    12,538

    Default

    Sorry about the breakup, but it's good that your parent's place allowed you a safety net. On the Off Topic thread about living with parents, a poster mentioned living at home with Daddy paying everything, and her intention to get married and have husband support her, and I mentioned that it would be a good idea to get a job/skillset that allows you to be self sufficient. So many women don't realize just how important it is not to be reliant on a partner for financial support.



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar. 13, 2007
    Location
    Northern Virginia, 45 minutes east of paradise - 2 hrs during rush hour
    Posts
    2,376

    Default

    Just imagine the horses were children.
    This is exactly the reason why giving women equals rights everywhere is so important. Without the ability to be financially independent, the woman is totally dependent on their husband, or family and is stuck with whatever living situation they are in, even if it's horrible and abusive.
    Hope you get back on your feet soon. BTW this is great opportunity to improve your future financial stability by learning a new trade or going back to school, if the career you have is just not cutting it for you satisfaction-wise or money-wise.
    "The mighty oak is a nut who stood its ground"

    "...you'll never win Olympic gold by shaking a carrot stick at a warmblood..." see u at x



  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug. 21, 2006
    Location
    PA
    Posts
    949

    Default

    AliCat I'm so sorry to hear about the breakup. I'm so glad you were able to land softly however. Sounds like you are motivated to handle everything yourself, I see you going far



  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul. 31, 2007
    Posts
    15,184

    Default

    So... don't lawyer up for the Cat Custody Battle.

    I'm sorry for the smack in the face (or wallet) that life is giving you right now.
    The armchair saddler
    Politically Pro-Cat



  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov. 24, 2002
    Location
    Northern KY
    Posts
    4,465

    Default Every woman should be in the position to say

    "I wasn't starving when I met you" and "Next".

    Don't get me started on women who have multiple children who depend on worthless individuals to support them and their brood.


    It's good that the OP had a safety net. It makes me said to hear an "adult' woman say "he agreed to support me so I could take a lower paying job so I could be happier". Gag.

    Grow up and don't put yourself in a position to be responsible for a living thing you can't support if the SO bails.


    Vent my aunt fanny.
    Last edited by 2ndyrgal; Oct. 29, 2012 at 02:41 PM. Reason: spelling, sad is SAD, not said.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Sep. 23, 2010
    Posts
    564

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by jetsmom View Post
    Sorry about the breakup, but it's good that your parent's place allowed you a safety net. On the Off Topic thread about living with parents, a poster mentioned living at home with Daddy paying everything, and her intention to get married and have husband support her, and I mentioned that it would be a good idea to get a job/skillset that allows you to be self sufficient. So many women don't realize just how important it is not to be reliant on a partner for financial support.
    This is so true!

    Sorry about your breakup, Ali. So glad for you that your parents are able to help you and your animals out



  10. #10
    Join Date
    Mar. 14, 2010
    Location
    Earlysville, Virginia
    Posts
    3,250

    Default

    I do have a degree, and have been trying to find a job in my field for over a year! Since graduation, I've been working at low paying positions, unfortunately. This might be the perfect time to get my masters! Either way, I'm going to get a second job and get myself financially independent. I DO have a decent amount of savings, so it's not like I'm broke, thank goodness. I'm just trying to be smart with it.

    Any negativity can go towards another thread, because I don't need that in my life. Negativity won't get me motivated or moving forward. I'm determined to be happy, successful and responsible.
    Charlie Brown (1994 bay TB X gelding)
    White Star (2004 grey TB gelding)

    Mystical Moment, 1977-2010.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jun. 30, 2009
    Posts
    6,576

    Default

    I've read a number of your posts over the years (haven't commented much - that I recall) & I'm so proud of you for making this step



  12. #12
    Join Date
    Mar. 14, 2010
    Location
    Earlysville, Virginia
    Posts
    3,250

    Default

    Thanks alto, that means a lot. I've had a really tough day, and your words are helpful.
    Charlie Brown (1994 bay TB X gelding)
    White Star (2004 grey TB gelding)

    Mystical Moment, 1977-2010.



  13. #13
    Join Date
    Oct. 20, 2009
    Posts
    978

    Default

    Congrats on the new life. I PROMISE in 6 months this will feel like a blessing.
    Your horses are well cared for, you have a warm, loving roof over your head, and you have learned a valuable life lesson. Sounds like you're in good shape
    Good luck ! Make the best of this opportunity to reshape your future!! I'm serious! You'll be more than fine.



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