[JustJumpIt!]

I guess that pretty much says it all. We're ecstatically pregnant with our fourth child, and not looking forward to telling our families At. All. Seems like everyone else around has had two and been done, which is fine - but we've always wanted a large family. I make decent money, work from home half the time, my husband is a stay at home father, we've both got PhDs, oldest kiddo (only one in school yet) goes to private school, our only debt is the mortgage and student loans... it doesn't seem like they should have much to complain or worry about.

But I *know* the first thing my mother will say is "was this planned?" and "well, I just hope you can handle this."

Just a vent. We're so happy, and our kids have been asking when we're going to have another baby in the family for the past year. We're not telling any family yet just so they don't rain on the parade.

[skykingismybaby1]

Congratulations!

Personally I would never tell them. Just wait and see if they notice an extra face at dinner.

[MoonWitch]

Congratulations & all the best for a very happy pregnancy!!

[Renn/aissance]

Congratulations and best wishes! Your mother will sort herself out.

[JustJumpIt!]

Ha, skyking! I'm having fun picturing that. "Um, are you babysitting?" We'll tell them, though, and eventually they'll be happy. I'm just not looking forward to the first few conversations!

[Daydream Believer]

Congrats! I see no harm in a large family if you can support the children, and obviously you can. Sounds like it's not her business if you get my point and just tell her as much if she becomes a downer over it.

[oldernewbie]

I come from a family of 7 kids and even in the 50s people harassed my parents about having so many kids. Living well and joyfully is the best revenge - so let the nasty comments slide off your back and enjoy your beautiful children and happy life!

[shea'smom]

Stack the deck. Pick an occasion, have a few people you have already told and have them jump in with "Congratulations! What a lucky child to be born into your wonderful family! How great to see a nice big family!" etc.
then your mother would look like a big meanie if she says anything snarky.
Adding my congrats. I came from a family of four kids and I love it.
Mostly.

[carolprudm]

I guess that pretty much says it all. We're ecstatically pregnant with our fourth child, and not looking forward to telling our families At. All. Seems like everyone else around has had two and been done, which is fine - but we've always wanted a large family. I make decent money, work from home half the time, my husband is a stay at home father, we've both got PhDs, oldest kiddo (only one in school yet) goes to private school, our only debt is the mortgage and student loans... it doesn't seem like they should have much to complain or worry about.

But I *know* the first thing my mother will say is "was this planned?" and "well, I just hope you can handle this."

Just a vent. We're so happy, and our kids have been asking when we're going to have another baby in the family for the past year. We're not telling any family yet just so they don't rain on the parade.

Start practicing a shocked expression and the question "Whatever made you ask that question/say that"

I was always sorry I didn't have #4 though it would have been insane at the time

[JanM]

I like Carolprudm's answer. Or the ones people like Dear Abby use "Why would I discuss that with you?" or my answer "What the hell kind of person would ask that and expect an answer?" Or some other cranky reply. I've never understood why a question like that deserved an answer, or why it was anyone's business except you, your DH, and your doctor.

Congratulations, and I love knowing a child is coming into the world wanted and loved.

[Melelio]

Sounds like my in-laws when my SIL had her 5th, AND 6th child (yeah, way too many for ME, but it's HER)..

THey were VERY non-supportive about it for the first few conversations, to the point that SIL didn't tell them about #6 until she was 6 or 7 months along

The correct answer seems to have some elements of "why do you care?" "I still love you even though you are not supporting me" "It's my life, thank you" "didn't you raise me to be a responsible adult?" or some such or other....

[JustJumpIt!]

We're telling the kids this weekend... so maybe we'll just let them break the news, since no one will be negative at all around them. And the littles will be super excited to be the news-bearers.

[SmartAlex]

My younger sister is pregnant. I don't know if it was planned or not. Really none of my business. But... she made me tell my Dad. She was afraid to. Heck she's 37 I'm sure by now he knows she's had sex! Anyway, I did it, under duress. I wasn't going to have my Dad cut out of the whole process and have his feelings hurt.

You're estatic. Tell your family your wonderful news! But if they try to rain on your parade, have a CoTH come back ready and smack it on 'em.

[S1969]

We're telling the kids this weekend... so maybe we'll just let them break the news, since no one will be negative at all around them. And the littles will be super excited to be the news-bearers.

Good plan!

Isn't it amazing how our closest family often feels so comfortable saying things you'd never say to anyone else?? As an adoptive mom we got a few odd responses, mostly from my mother. But she got over it pretty quickly...just a surprising lack of a "governor" on some of her initial comments.

Congratulations!!

[BuddyRoo]

Congratulations!

And I'm with the "Wow, that's quite a question!" or "Did you MEAN to ask that out loud?" response. Some people just don't think before they open their mouths.

[Chester's Mom]

But I *know* the first thing my mother will say is "was this planned?" and "well, I just hope you can handle this."

Send her a postcard with the info. Then don't answer the phone for a week.



If you tell your families how excited you are about your wonderful news, you are adding a long hoped for addition to your family ... that should forestall any comments. Just saying "I'm pregnant" allows them to interpret your silence any way they want.

However if you are emphatic in your happiness up front and they still comment, you should calmly ask them why they are raining on your parade.

[RumoursFollow]

Ugh. When my husband and I announced number 2 to his parents, his father looked at us and said, "you're ruining your life, you know."

Tell them to stick it up their nose. That's pretty much what I did.

[LaurieB]

I went on vacation and sent a postcard home from a different continent. (This was pre-cell phone.) By the time we got home 2 weeks later most of the furor had died down.

[acoustic]

Congratulations!! My mother was one of 13 children. Four isn't that many, lol. I love my big family. It is such a special thing.

I agree with the sentiments; tell ma to stick it

[Watermark Farm]

Congrats on the upcoming baby! I have four children and when I tell people that, they sometimes get this strange look of surprise and wonder on their face and ask did you plan on that? It always makes me cringe, like having four kids is some sort of crime, LOL.