Well, my immediate reaction is NO, your daughter's friend is wrong. But I'm basing it strictly on what I saw my sister go through.
My sister was diagnosed at age 12, in 1983. Management's much better than it used to be, with newer and better pumps coming out seemingly every year. But I don't think it's gotten to the point where they can just eat like everyone else, though no doubt there is more freedom.
It varies with the individual, but my sister went through a phase in her teens/early 20's where she did the "eat-what-you-want-and-then-administer-a-bolus" thing. And really - kids want to be like their friends. They don't want to feel like their diabetes might interrupt everyone's fun. I can see that.
Later on she had a lot of problems, even with the pump. She became somewhat prone to crashes (spikes not so much). Ultimately her kidneys failed when she was 38. I don't KNOW if her earlier cavalier attitude caused her later problems, or if it would have happened anyway.
No, it hasn't changed. The girl needs proper diabetes education. That type of thinking is VERY unhealthy at such a young age and can become a very slippery slope. Diabetes is multi-system affecting and when left untreated or poorly managed, can be very disastrous to every part of the body. It's just not worth it to leave it uncontrolled!
If simple verbal education doesn't affect her, I'd show her pictures of older diabetics who didn't take care of themselves. Those with gangrenous feet, amputees, blindness, 4+ pitting edema due to diabetic neuropathy, kidney failure, heart failure.. strokes, etc.. It's really a gross disease if left unmanaged and maybe she needs a harsh wake up call. Take her to a diabetic clinic to get educated from a professional. Let her see the people in the waiting room. Trust me, once you see what happens to the legs and feet in uncontrolled diabetes, that should be enough to scare her into shape!
Don't know how old this child is but if this child is in your home I would contact the parents saying you are aware of their daughters medical problem
and that you have a few questions.
1. what is she allowed and not allowed to eat?
2. is she on an eating/snack schedule
3. if she should crash what steps need to be taken to help her and what
are the signs to look for in her.
Let them know you would like for the two girls to continue to be together
but would really appreciate knowing what you need to do for this child.
also ask what insulin she is on, does she have a pump or does she
do shots herself and if so how many shots a day and when.
A huge part of contoling diabeties isn't just the insulin it is the food intake
and a schedule.
One of my best friends is classified as type 1 (brittle) diabetic. She has
an insulin pump on her side with a remote control. She works full time
has a handicapp daughter and rides horses. She is very active. When
ever her and I are together wether we are riding, shopping or what not
I have her remote to her pump attatched to ME. We are so close
that when she had the pump put in I went to the learning class's with her.
I know how to run the remote give basils, take away basils and when to and
not to help her.
My husband is a type 2 wich we control with diet and my grandmother
(rest her soul) was a type 1.
Oh and another thing to know is emotions will mess up a diabetics sugar