[shea'smom]

You GO GIRL!!!
Cancer so totally sucks.
Lovely gray filly.

[grayarabpony]

Leena it is beautiful how you've managed to keep enjoying horses and riding as you have in spite of so many challenges.

[DressageGeek "Ribbon Ho"]

Oh, no, Elene - I meant the upcoming shows and clinics! Rooting for you to have fabulous rides there too!

[Equilibrium]

What an inspiring woman you are. I have just met a wonderful woman who has a horse here at my barn. She is an ovarian cancer survivor and like you she chose not to sit around and wait for things to happen. She has an ex-racehorse which is the light of her life and he kept her going. She is one of the lucky ones and has been in remission for 2 years now. Her bright spirit is infectious and I am so glad to have someone as positive as her in my life.

I am sending you many hugs and well wishes and will always have you in my thoughts.

Terri

[mp]

What beautiful horses you have. They're a reflection of you and the beauty of your spirit.

Best wishes, Elene. You are an inspiration. Looking forward to your show report.

[Leena]

What an inspiring woman you are. I have just met a wonderful woman who has a horse here at my barn. She is an ovarian cancer survivor and like you she chose not to sit around and wait for things to happen. She has an ex-racehorse which is the light of her life and he kept her going. She is one of the lucky ones and has been in remission for 2 years now. Her bright spirit is infectious and I am so glad to have someone as positive as her in my life.

I am sending you many hugs and well wishes and will always have you in my thoughts.

Terri

I bet she knows how lucky she is..Ovarian cancer is such a terrible one and deserve his nickname "the silent killer" since we have so barely little symptoms...

Thanks for all your comments on my horses. If there is one thing cancer forced myself to do is to perfect my training methods to start horses.

There is no way I can go over a horse that has not been educated to the fingers anymore, that does react to my aids from a little pressure because ther is no strong aids, no strong pressure anymore.

They are the ones that are looking at me every day, looking for me and therfore my biggest reasons why I am still there fighting, always searching for lighter riding since I am loosing so much months after months..

When I got my diagnostic, I could have chosen to take this as a big drama, shutt down the windows, living in my fears, in the pain also..Chemos brings a lot of pain.

I have chosen to learn something about me, to stay with an open mind and to trust my horses.

I met a trainer over the internet who kindly taught me how to make myself a plan adapted to my situation, how to ressent things, how to steps by steps really putting my aids at the right place, developping my eyes. I could not sustain formal training session but I could go for 15-20 minutes and learn something about me, something about the horse.

I took my time to really questionned all my muscles, strenght, my gesture, listening to my horse.

This always took my mind away from the disease. It seems easy while I am writing but in fact it was not. The pain generated by the chemos toxines is immense and I just can understand why someone just does not want to move anymore...

All this work brought me to discover all about confidence and more important serenity.

I find out how to just be confident, feeling the immensity of what every minute can be when you dare just realise it and what wonderfull power my body has if I take my time to feel him the right way, how my body carry so much serenity...

I thought at that moment I really did not really care about body all my life except when he gets really fed up and showed me through pain how much I did not care for him.

So mainly this is the way I choose to live that disease, and I feel so much joy now than ever, even if the situation will worsen. Hard to believe but life, the real life is all about feeling that joy, that inner peace.

This will help me to deal as futur go.

[Equilibrium]

Yes, Leena she knows how very lucky she is. In her first meeting with the doctor he stated that he hoped he could save her. She stated she didn't see it that way and that she was sure she was worth saving! I know she had double doses of chemo. She's as fit and healthy a person I've ever met at 47 and just so positive. She too continued working and riding and even when she wasn't well enough for her lessons she still went to watch. She too also says her only other choice was to draw the blinds and wallow in her illness and she wasn't prepared to do that.

I wish more healthy people in the world had your attitude, me included.

You're an inspiration.

Terri

[Leena]

WOW ! this is so cool !

I wish we could meet one day ! Along my way I met a couple of very strong persons, I even name them Personnage for their strong spirit. In fact Patrick Swayze was a real inspiration in my battle.

Equilibrium..my advice..Don't wait too much to join the club; you don't really need to be sick you know that !

I really enjoy the fact that COTH put up a place for disabled people.

It is great to see that we all can be very imaginative, persistant, disciplined to make things happen and how generous posters support our journeys !

I feel myself blessed !

[Equibrit]

LEENA !!!!!!!!!!!
I was thinking about you this morning.
I'm happy that you kept working with the horses, they have provided purpose and comfort to you. Keep on keeping on girl !

[Leena]

LEENA !!!!!!!!!!!
I was thinking about you this morning.
I'm happy that you kept working with the horses, they have provided purpose and comfort to you. Keep on keeping on girl !

Hahaha !! Here you go too ! I will always remember your support right from the beginning !

You see I did listen !

[Equibrit]

I am about to take a 3 week "holiday" to get a youngster started. I'll be thinking about you !

[Leena]

Actually if everything goes right, I'll be on mine by next week ! I'll need help this time and those are probably the last one I'll do..Cancer is really painfull these days..

Good luck with yours !

[pintopiaffe]

Thought of you when I got on my greenbean tonight... and was pleasantly surprized by a gentlemanly, almost mature horse!

You said you go back this week... prayers and thoughts abound for you...

Can't wait to see the show pictures from the 13th!!

[talloaks]

Elene, you have been such an inspiration for the past three years you have been fighting the terrible cancer, your attitude has always been that of a winner, which you are. I will pray that the doctors will have found something new to try to stop the spread of your cancer. Miracles do happen every day if you just believe!!
Prayers for you each and every day!!
Hugs, Bernie

[Leena]

That is so sweet..!

I am afraid I am sliding slowly down the hill..I am on pain management but I still find a way to keep riding for the moment.

Hugs to all !

[Carol Ames]

What a wonderful uplifting report!How wonderful that you have the horses to help you heal!Sending you jingles, prayers and positive energy

[pintopiaffe]

Offered up Mass for you this afternoon--we sang, which is always special. I am positively praying for a good outcome...

[omare]

Dear Leena-I am saving my very best thoughts for you. I am so happy to see when you post.(I sent you a PM--oops looks like I sent you duplicates--I am such a nerd)

[whicker]

Leena,
You inspire us so much. I pray that your doctors can pull another rabbit for you out of the hat. You look so beautiful on your gray filly. you bring the best out.

[Leena]

Well, it seems that you all want to know what comes next !!!!

Thank God, I have a good doctor that understood my anxiety following a major pain crisis this thursday so my medication was changed and I was able to ride yesterday.

So now pain is under control..I feel better. I went for auditing a great clinic with Dr. Cesar Parras for a short time. I saw 3 rides and that was just great but could not stand there for too long. I cannot really feel my feet anymore since chemos stuff had burned them 2 years ago.

Anyway I went back home and went to work with one of the greenies..

I am on the small steps side now..a little bit then long rest. Still those steps are important for me...

Yup ! Hope for another rabbit out of the research team so I can last another year on this earth...They have been good so far to me and they help my longevity without too much trouble !