Update on me tells me don't ever changed your plan !
Hi everyone !
Little update on my situation. Maybe some don't know so I have been fighting an ovarian cancer since 3 years, without remission. For tha matter, I had the surgery and 20 differents chemos doses throughout 3 years, some breaks also.
In early april, I got a very heavy pain on my left side and I though of possible infection on my port..Actually it turn out to be a carcinomatose in the peritoneal region...In english it is metastase spreading over my diaphragm and also leaning over my stomach. So I am heading to Montreal to the cancer research dept and on jun 9th, I will see what are the next.
Some days, I bang my head on the wall and somedays, i go at the barn and get a few rides, I am still starting some of mine.
Throughout all those years I never change my plan, I try to concentrate and be a better rider, I change my technics and work hard to become so light to my horse, confortable for them.
I did not change plan, even with some metastase going around, fatigue growing..So I went to the show.
Ok I made some mistake but we went reserve champion of the class with a 4 yrs filly, my grey one. I did never went riding a green 4 yrs with metatstase and feeling breathless.
I compare cancer to terrorism, to war because I feel I have a gun on my head since the last 3 years.
When cancer will come up, is the chemo tolerable, then fungus..I never knew anything that was going to happen.
My doctor and I fought really hard..When I told me he could not do anything, I took his hands and said..Hey Doc..We had a good battle !
And I went for a ride...
Now it's look like I am loosing this one so I am trying to live this experience with joy of living, joy to be there and joy with my greenies.
Not much that can be said, but to wish you the best outcome in your next round.
I have had several friends over the years with ovarian cancers and all I can say is that it was different for each of them, you never know how it will go.
With your good attitude and the horses to ride, you will manage.
as a woman who is in remission, married to a man who is not yet, i so admire your strength and determination to LIVE!!!!! sounds like you are squeezing every last drop out of your life, and i hope my dh and i have the courage and strength to do the same.
more power to you, and massive healing jingles at your next appointment.
Well, as always, you are my hero. Most people who are perfectly healthy never LIVE like you have. Your candle burns so bright and so hot, I don't even have to physically meet you to feel it. No matter what the future holds, you will be experiencing every single moment of it.. You are an inspiration.
"Kindness is free" ~ Eurofoal
--- The CoTH CYA - please consult w/your veterinarian under any and all circumstances.
If I had listened to doctors, I would not have be authorised to touch a horse, I would probably had to sell all the babies, and stick to the sofa looking at my nostril, living in the fear.
When I took the cancer by the horn, I went to look how I could handle horses DESPITE chemos, fatigue, pain and everything. I taught my greenbeans to stay quiet, adopt some extra security way of handling them, did not accept any bad habits.
It went well !
I then went to look to become a more effective rider, more light and I discover I could be firm without using strenght, I could ride without using too much of energy, I could make myself listened and respected as well and dare to ride !
It is a fabulous experience..Cancer is a disaster really..I just wish we never met really but instead of crying on this injustice, I decide time will go much better in joy, peace and serenity, focusing on my next Reiner Klimke clinic !
So this was a good decision not to change any plans !! To just go forward and rely on my greenies..
I'll go to that show on june 13th..yup I'll be there.
Dressage Geek, I did post them on my first message..
When I booked the clinic, I did not know how now serious was my condition but I knew when I book the show..
I feel whenever I feel it is okay, I am happy I never changed my plans..It is amazing everything I did during all those 3 years. I even got back in my job for a while. I am gratefull to believe in life so much and being courageous enough to face my fears.
You are amazing hugging me that much ! I'll keep you update on this journey !
it's not the edge of the earth, but you can see it from here
I feel whenever I feel it is okay, I am happy I never changed my plans..It is amazing everything I did during all those 3 years. I even got back in my job for a while. I am gratefull to believe in live so much and being courageous enough to face my fears.