[mishmash]

I was at the tack store today, and overheard a woman speaking with one of the clerks. She asked if the clerk could reccomend a barn and trainer for a 14 month old TB filly. Said that her girls were horse crazy, and their grandparents had purchased this horse for them. The woman explained that she was scared to death of the horse, it was too jumpy, and had gotten scared by a dog, took off bucking and kicked her daughter. They were keeping this yearling in a stall, because they dont have fencing up yet. The clerk was trying to be tactful, but I could not help myself, interrupted and asked her if she minded some free advice. I told the woman that a 14 month old should be out running and playing with other young horses, that any handling needed to be done by someone experienced with young horses, and that a stall was not appropriate. That a 14 month old was like a toddler, and its reaction to the dog was normal. The woman asked me if her girls would ever be able to ride the horse. Explained that it would be at least two years before the filly could be backed, that it would take a professional, and that it would quite possible never be appropriate for her girls. At this point the clerk spoke up and told her she needed a well trained 14 year old horse, not a 14 month old.
I just dont understand how someone could take an animal and not research a little bit beforehand. WHAT were the grandparents thinking?? And who would sell a 14 month old filly to someone for two young (grade school age) girls!?

[Hoofprince in Mud]

The trouble is, there are more horses available than knowledgeable horsepeople. There is no way of knowing what the grandparents were thinking, but it is reasonable to assume their intentions were good.

Is it at all possible for you to spend your valuable time with the 14 month old horse, teach it how to lead, enjoy being groomed, and standing tied, and at the same time, teach the girls safe horse handling?

As a responsible horse person, you'd be paying it forward to help others learn. While it would be nice to be paid for your services, in the current economic situation, this might not be a viable option for people new to horses, what with paying for hay, shoeing and other related expences they didn't anticipate.

By helping, you would be keeping the horse from becoming dinner on somebodies dinner plate.

Too often horsepeople are critical of decisions people who have no horse knowledge make. It would make the world a better place, if horsepeople took the time to help non-horsepeople become horsepeople.

Lecturing non-horsepeople does not win any converts to the ranks of horsepersons.

[nightsong]

I think lecturing CAN help. It's what teachers do. That poor woman needs SOMEONE to tell her what's what, she obviously has her children's best interests in mind and is willing to spend money on trainer and boarding barn. She's doing everything right, just needs the information to go along with it. Grandparents were the ones who apparently were swindled by a horse seller; let the mom do the right thing. She can't be all that stupid if she went to a tack store to ask about a trainer...

I just dont understand how someone could take an animal and not research a little bit beforehand.

Anyone who's ever bought a puppy, or heard of someone who has, as a very well-received kids' present that turned out very well.

WHAT were the grandparents thinking??

That they were getting their granddaughters a MUCH-DESIRED present.

And who would sell a 14 month old filly to someone for two young (grade school age) girls!?

ANY unscrupulous seller (and we ALL know there're a BUNCH out there ). And it's PROBABLY what the grandparents ASKED for, a young (remember how parents buy their kids a puppy, not a grown dog?), filly (because they're GIRLS, after all), that's really PRETTY (and Thoroughbreds fill THAT, for sure, besides being that delicate, wispy type of beauty that commercial products sell to girls). And there you have it! The PERFECT horse for horse-crazy grade-school girls!!!

And, by the way, I think that offering to help them with the filly will just turn the kids (and the rest of the family) off kids forever. This horse is NEVER going to be kid-safe. The tack-store clerk was right.

[equineartworks]

perfectly said NightSong.

And let's not forget. The parents could have said NO. They are really the ones who are responsible here.

Sorry, but the parents need an intervention. The horse needs to be removed before it goes nuts and kills someone.

There is no cure for stupidity.

[ESG]

The trouble is, there are more horses available than knowledgeable horsepeople. There is no way of knowing what the grandparents were thinking, but it is reasonable to assume their intentions were good.

Is it at all possible for you to spend your valuable time with the 14 month old horse, teach it how to lead, enjoy being groomed, and standing tied, and at the same time, teach the girls safe horse handling?

As a responsible horse person, you'd be paying it forward to help others learn. While it would be nice to be paid for your services, in the current economic situation, this might not be a viable option for people new to horses, what with paying for hay, shoeing and other related expences they didn't anticipate.

By helping, you would be keeping the horse from becoming dinner on somebodies dinner plate.

Too often horsepeople are critical of decisions people who have no horse knowledge make. It would make the world a better place, if horsepeople took the time to help non-horsepeople become horsepeople.

Lecturing non-horsepeople does not win any converts to the ranks of horsepersons.

Let me see if I understand you correctly. You're suggesting that the OP give this complete, clueless stranger an indefinite amount of her time and expertise, for an indefinite period of time, put herself in probable physical jeopardy by handling a supercharged 14 month old TB who's been stallbound for god knows how long, and then presume to teach clueless stranger's young children how to safely do the same?

Ohhh-kay.

Your intentions are good, but your suggestion of how to execute them is completely ridiculous. Think twice before you type, eh?

[Eventer55]

I have a boarder that got a registered Arab gelding (Kemosabi bred) free. Why? The parents bought him for their daughter who rode somewhat. Daughter got bucked off, hurt badly and the girl who boards with me knew them. They called her and told her to take the horse that the daughter was never riding again.

I now have a gorgeous really sweet Arab for a boarder. The new owner is a great rider , great boarder.

It's lucky the daughter didn't get killed. . . really stupid situation.

[saultgirl]

I have a boarder that got a registered Arab gelding (Kemosabi bred) free. Why? The parents bought him for their daughter who rode somewhat. Daughter got bucked off, hurt badly and the girl who boards with me knew them. They called her and told her to take the horse that the daughter was never riding again.

I now have a gorgeous really sweet Arab for a boarder. The new owner is a great rider , great boarder.

It's lucky the daughter didn't get killed. . . really stupid situation.

What does that have to do with anything?

[mishmash]

I don't even know these people-when I left they were in the process of getting numbers of boarding barns.
If the woman thought I was lecturing her, so be it. At least I let her know she was putting her kids in danger, and not doing the horse any favors, either. Hopefully she got the message a young horse has different issues, needs and training concerns than a puppy.
Around this BB, it's darned if you do and darned if you don't. If I hadn't spoken up, would be getting slammed for that....

[TikiSoo]

OK, I need to interject here. I was a horse crazy kid that took lessons my entire childhood. At 25, my husband bought me my first horse, a green broke BEAST. Neither of us knew any better. I had a gf over to meet the horse and she told me in no uncertain terms to get rid of this horse. I was crestfallen. Although the horse *could* be fine for someone else, I was simply not experienced enough to handle her, and chances were I would get hurt. Badly.
So I traded this horse for a schoolie with someone who had a lesson barn. Match made in heaven for all concerned.

Whenever I encounter a "dangerous" situation with a newbie horse owner, I take exactly the same tactic. I warn them of how dangerous the situation could be and not worth possible injuries. Especially when there's kids involved and they complain about "losing money".

And the fact there ARE so many horses out there that can't be kept, many elderly, many no longer suitable for hard riding and perfect for a first time owner, kids and such.

I just get angry when I think of whomever knowingly sold this horse to them.

[shea'smom]

Mishmash,
I would have done exactly what you did. You were only trying to help all parties. And it is sad.
I hope things work out for the filly.

[lcw579]

OP, I think you did the right thing to clue in the parents and point them in the right direction.

Just to play devil's advocate here, whoever sold the grandparents the horse may have had no idea the people didn't know what they were doing. Nobody knows what was said during the transaction.

There are kids who are capable of dealing with babies. I did it. Parents bought me a yearling when I was 12 and I did all the work myself. I'd already backed a number of babies at the farm by then too. Granted this was a big farm with a breeding operation and the BO was always around so a different situation. My point is, nobody knows what situation the seller thought the horse was going to. It just gets under my skin a little on here when everyone always thinks that all children need to be bubble wrapped on super safe horses. I know, a bit off topic. Carry on.

[KnKShowmom]

I have talked more well meaning but inexperienced parents out of than into getting a horse/pony for their kids - they just don't understand which "makes and models" are appropriate and have no knowledge of just how much care and work goes into owning a horse.

It is better to give the option of taking good advice than to say nothing - most people appreciate it, if they don't then so be it.

Too bad grandparents didn't spend that money on some lessons at a good barn......

[analise]

Just to play devil's advocate here, whoever sold the grandparents the horse may have had no idea the people didn't know what they were doing.

Maybe, but I've watched someone who places horses with adopters (horse rescue, not a for-profit-sales barn or antyhing) and I've seen her more than once after a few minutes be able to say, unequivocally: "This is not the horse for you. I am not convinced you're experienced enough to handle this horse." Or something of the like. It's often very easy to tell who is experienced enough (especially when we're talking about a yearling here and not an older horse) to handle a young horse and who isn't, even just from talking to them, without even seeing them handle any horses. And, in my mind anyway, I'd have to think an ethical seller wouldn't sell a young horse to two people who didn't obviously know much about horses, even if they claimed the horse would be going to an experienced home or something.

Anyway, it's a sort of moot point. It's already happened, the OP did what she could to educate the horse's owners, and we can only hope they take that information and whatever they might get from a (hopefully good) trainer and boarding barn and the filly turns out okay.

[Iron Horse Farm]

I have babies for sale - BIG warmblood babies. I can't tell you how many times I have gotten the call or e-mail asking if my 14 hand weanling was a good 1st horse for an 8 and a 6 year old child. Especially after Oldenburg was the featured breed in Horse Illustrated. ..uuuh, no, go get riding lessons for about two years before you respond to another ad! (I was called mean too!)

[ThreeFigs]

Good for you, Iron Horse! That's exactly the advice my parents got from an Arabian breeder years ago in Texas when we went shopping for my first horse. I wanted an Arabian stallion, of course.

Those good folks told my folks to buy me a nice older horse for about $200 and to come back in a couple of years if I was still interested in horses.

OP, you did exactly the right thing. It's up to the parents now to take or ignore your advice.

[danceronice]

Iron Horse--are your babies on discount or are these really rich people? My brother has ridden at warmblood barns and I've never seen a baby priced anywhere near what I'd pay for a kids' horse (or for a weanling that wasn't a race prospect, for that matter.)

Besides disagreeing on how long you have to wait (I'd have a saddle on the horse while it was still a yearling and start adding weight at 2-this is a thoroughbred, not a hothouse flower) I would probably have said something along the lines of an unbroken yearling not being remotely suitable for first-time rider kids. They're too small to handle her safely, if none of them have any prior experience they aren't going to know how to back her or teach her ground manners, and they're just going to end up paying a LOT of money for a trainer to get the horse anywhere near ready to ride. Emphasis on the last part. And offer suggestions on where they might look locally for a kidsafe packer, emphasizing how the market is currently glutted and as such they could likely get one at a fire-sale price and potentially even find someone willing to swap for a young horse.

[JSwan]

I have babies for sale - BIG warmblood babies. I can't tell you how many times I have gotten the call or e-mail asking if my 14 hand weanling was a good 1st horse for an 8 and a 6 year old child.

Iron Horse - I have no doubt they settled on getting a puppy for their Precious. Then when puppy peed on the white carpet and growled at Precious because Precious disturbed the puppy while he was eating..... puppy went to the pound.

[Woodland]

You know Mishmash what could you have done really? Unless you are a trainer with a business card ready then what can you do? Be a sympathetic ear or recommend someone to them. They have a colossal mess on their hands, hopefully they got a good recommendation. Don't beat yourself up over it!!!

[FancyFree]

I just get angry when I think of whomever knowingly sold this horse to them.

Yeah that's really who is at fault here. I've sold a few horses. I've always asked what they intended to do with my horse. Who doesn't do that? The seller probably knew damn well they were newbies and sold them the horse anyway. It's a tough economy, so that probably happens more often than not now.

[Iron Horse Farm]

Iron Horse - I have no doubt they settled on getting a puppy for their Precious. Then when puppy peed on the white carpet and growled at Precious because Precious disturbed the puppy while he was eating..... puppy went to the pound.

Oh, I know! I was threatened with a lawsuit once (UAW free lawyer drafted a lovely letter to me) when a seemingly lovely couple came to my place to look at a rescue/rehabbed pony that was RESCUE priced to a good home. They were horse knowledgeable, good fencing etc. I tought it would be perfect. THREE MONTHS later, their darling daughter no longer wanted a white pony, she wanted a paint pony. Would I take her back? I offered to resell her or take her back, but they wanted full purchase price returned so that they could buy darling what she really wanted. I got the letter when I turned down their offer.