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Humor

May 1, 2015

The Horse Owner's Workout

No matter what discipline they practice, horse people can all agree on one thing: riding is physically demanding work. And as horse owners know, the riding part isn’t even the half of it—the accompanying chores are a workout all on their own.

You’ve probably seen charts that list equestrian activities and their associated calorie burn. But they don’t come close to telling the whole story. To remedy this injustice, I’ve created a more realistic accounting of horse-related activities and their caloric effects.

March 26, 2015

How To Date A Horse Girl: A Primer For Men

So, you’ve started to date a horse-crazy gal? First of all, congratulations. You have excellent taste. The Horse Girl is a unique and wonderful breed, and we want your relationship to be successful.

You might believe that dating a girl who is crazy about horses isn’t any different than dating somebody who crochets or collects folk art. But you’d be wrong. There are things you need to know about us, and it’s best that you know them sooner than later.

March 6, 2015

Jitterbug's Winter Management of Your Human

As a draft cross, I am likely the only horse in my barn who doesn’t mind a few single-digit days now and then (although I’d be much more in the winter spirit if my Human could figure out how to ration hay better—it’s THIRTEEN flakes in my field please, not THREE). I gather however, that my Human doesn’t feel the same way about it.

February 26, 2015

Sponsor A Needy Equestrian

The equestrian community is remarkably generous in its support of fellow horsemen. It’s exemplified by people who give selflessly, not only to care for their own horses, but also in aid of other individuals, organizations and causes. And nobody, but nobody, pulls together in times of crisis like horse people do.

January 29, 2015

Rain, Man: Diary Of A California Horse Owner

In which the author’s sunny disposition and sanity deteriorate along with the weather.

So happy I moved to sunny California! It’s 73 degrees in December. I rode in short sleeves today. My horse spent the whole morning playing in the turn-out. Had a great lesson in the huge outdoor ring—I feel bad for people stuck in tiny indoor rings all winter!

A few clouds rolling in, and cooler temps. I guess it’s officially “winter” here, ha ha. Might have to break out the lightweight blanket tonight. Horses are all delightfully peppy.

December 26, 2014

Horses And The Laws Of Physics

I wasn’t much interested in math or science in high school.  I wanted to study art and writing; I failed to see the value in taking trigonometry or calculus or chemistry.

Looking back, though, I wish I had paid more attention in physics class. Little did I realize how applicable the laws of science would be to horse sports—particularly when riding in a crowded indoor arena during the winter. There’s nowhere else I can think of where one can observe so many natural laws in action.

December 1, 2014

The Blanket Clause

The question of whether or not to blanket your horse at arises frequently this time of year. The temperature is prone to unexpected dives, and many horses are sporting some sort of body clip. You may have seen the wonderful When-to-Blanket flowchart posted on the Facebook page of The Equine Program at Auburn University that’s been making the rounds of social media.

October 20, 2014

Back To Zero: Re-Learning To Ride

In the summer of 1973, after three years of begging, pleading, and promising I would never ask for anything else, ever, my mom gave in and let me start taking riding lessons. From that day on, I seized any opportunity to spend time with horses.

September 12, 2014

The Fabric Of Change

Once upon a time, when Thoroughbreds ruled the hunters and breeches were rust-colored on purpose, riding clothes were stiff, uncomfortable and unforgiving. They needed to be handled with care, dry cleaned and, worst of all……ironed.

Ironing long-sleeved cotton shirts was a dreaded horse show task—which we simplified by rationalizing that only the cuffs and collars showed, so why iron the rest?

July 25, 2014

Horse Ownership 101

Few milestones in life are anticipated with greater joy than bringing home your first horse. Having a horse is in many ways like having a child who will never grow up, get a job and move out of the house. Also like a child, until you actually have one of your own you really don’t know what you’re in for. To assist with your transition, I’ve cataloged some of the life changes that you can expect as a new horse owner.

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