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January 29, 2016

Who Needs Leg When You Have Winter?

Wish your hunter had more pep in his step? Want your jumper more animated during his flat warm-up? Ever long for your horse to move with the style and athleticism of a cream-of-the-crop dressage champion?

Get ready to have all of your wishes granted.

December 17, 2015

Horse Girl Gifting 101

I don’t know a man who doesn’t regard the Christmas holiday with dread. Whether it’s from pressure to find the perfect gift for a significant other or the tendency to wait until 6 p.m. on Dec. 24 to take action, shopping rates right above root-canal-sans-anesthetic on most men’s lists of things they want to do. 

Well, men, if you’re involved with a horse girl, I’ve got great news: We are incredibly easy to buy for.

September 11, 2015

Jitterbug's Guide To Being Photographed By Your Human

If you are a trainer of Humans in this day and age, you’ve probably noticed that they are unusually obsessed with their Dumb Phones, and equally obsessed with taking photos of everything from their alarming makeup jobs to their fattening brunches/gravyfests.

Unfortunately for Quadrupeds, this probably means they fancy themselves photographers, and that they will almost certainly try to capture our likeness in pixels. Consider this a teaching experience that will not only make the biped a better photographer, but a better Human.

September 4, 2015

Every Turtle Has His Day

In August, I observed a very important anniversary: the first anniversary of my return to riding. You may remember reading my column about my laughable first attempt at being back in the saddle following a two-year break.

In the past 12 months I have managed to rebuild my strength, rebuild my stamina, and rebuild my lower body into a shape that fits into my riding pants again.

July 30, 2015

A Guide To Evaluating Your Horse's Personality Type

I returned to riding about a year ago after a two-year break following the loss of my equine soulmate. Since then, through the generosity of a wonderful “barn family,” I’ve had the opportunity to enjoy many wonderful, and very different, horses. I’ve discovered something to love about each one, and each has taught me its own lessons. Mostly what I’ve learned is that the horses fall into one of three basic categories: The Pleaser, The Persnickety One and The Laz-E-Boy.

This is how their internal dialog goes on any given day:

The Pleaser

July 2, 2015

Supporting Your Horse Habit

If you’re like most horse owners, you could use some extra income. Horses can and will adapt themselves to exceed any budget.  If taking a second (or third) job isn’t feasible, then it’s time to think outside the box. Horse people have plenty of raw materials at their disposal, and all it takes is a little ingenuity to turn them into extra cash. Here are some ideas to get you started.

1. eBay
eBay is the perfect sales venue for not-quite-new items, and every barn is full of things that qualify.

May 29, 2015

Supplements Made Simple

There's a huge selection of nutritional and medicinal supplements out there, and both choosing and using can be confusing. We’ve simplified the selection process by proposing supplement blends specifically designed to make the horse you’ve got into the partner you've always wanted. You might even be tempted to take some yourself. 

May 1, 2015

The Horse Owner's Workout

No matter what discipline they practice, horse people can all agree on one thing: riding is physically demanding work. And as horse owners know, the riding part isn’t even the half of it—the accompanying chores are a workout all on their own.

You’ve probably seen charts that list equestrian activities and their associated calorie burn. But they don’t come close to telling the whole story. To remedy this injustice, I’ve created a more realistic accounting of horse-related activities and their caloric effects.

March 26, 2015

How To Date A Horse Girl: A Primer For Men

So, you’ve started to date a horse-crazy gal? First of all, congratulations. You have excellent taste. The Horse Girl is a unique and wonderful breed, and we want your relationship to be successful.

You might believe that dating a girl who is crazy about horses isn’t any different than dating somebody who crochets or collects folk art. But you’d be wrong. There are things you need to know about us, and it’s best that you know them sooner than later.

March 6, 2015

Jitterbug's Winter Management of Your Human

As a draft cross, I am likely the only horse in my barn who doesn’t mind a few single-digit days now and then (although I’d be much more in the winter spirit if my Human could figure out how to ration hay better—it’s THIRTEEN flakes in my field please, not THREE). I gather however, that my Human doesn’t feel the same way about it.

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