Six years ago I was in Germany with Billy and Struppie, learning how to really sit a horse for the first time in my life, being exposed to the best riding and teaching I’d ever seen, and realizing for the first time that this is what I was Meant To Do.
I’ve been Doing It since I graduated from college in May ’06, and I’ve had enough hours at it to have two lists: Five Things That Are Guaranteed To Make Your Trainer Crazy, and Five Things That You Think Will Make Your Trainer Crazy But Actually Won’t.
Five Things That Make Us Crazy-Cakes:
1. Showing Up Late
We’re dressage trainers. We’re all about the attention to detail, to an alarming degree. When you schedule a lesson for 1, then don’t even pull in the driveway ’til 1:15, I’m pulling my hair out.
As such, I encourage new students to plan ahead and leave extra time. There are trailer-friendly directions on my website. I remind them that they’re welcome to arrive early and warm-up ahead of time, or tack up in the barn, or just hang out. And when they sign my release waiver, they are reminded that their lessons are 45 minutes and start at the time we’ve scheduled. If a student is late, and I have a student after them, Tardy Tawny is out of luck. And hey, if you’re stuck behind a school bus or have a flat or something—call. Life happens, it’s cool. Just keep your trainer in the loop.
2. Tack That Doesn’t Fit
Let’s be clear—it doesn’t have to be amazing, shiny, expensive dressage tack. One of my favorite students rides in a Biothane bridle. Many have AP saddles or jump saddles, some of which are as old as I am. I don’t care what brand you ride in, or what make and model it is. If it doesn’t fit, it’s wasting everyone’s time.
By the way, it’s also probably working against both you and your horse to have buckles flapping, a noseband so loose I can fit my head in there with your horse, a saddle pinching the bejeezus out of his withers, or so ill-flocked that its panels are like concrete. Dressage is plenty hard—why make it harder by riding in the wrong stuff?
3. Riders On The Wrong Horse
This one, alas, happens all the time and is the hardest fix. Whether it’s because you bought with your heart and not with your head, or because (you poor thing) you got schnookered by a crooked trainer who just wanted to make a sale, in your best interest or not, if you’re on some wild beast that’s going to kill you, or that you think is going to kill you, something’s gotta give.
Let’s be clear about a few things: I don’t mean that you need something related to Sandro Hit or Donnerhall. In fact, I meet plenty of folks on horses far too athletic for their current needs. There are a few folks I know who specialize in selling young, talented warmbloods to timid, beginner riders. They create real messes for horse and rider, because Suzie Q. ends up terrified of Mr. Ed, and Ed either learns to be scared of everything or to be a naughty turkey who leaves working students quaking in his wake. Neither are a joy to fix and end up costing Suzie time and money to make right—assuming Suzie ever sets foot in the stirrup again.
Every trainer’s dream is a rider on a horse who has the right temperament and training to let his rider learn at her speed, with confidence and tact. Every trainer’s nightmare is the rider who is overhorsed, in athleticism or temperament or both, where no amount of riding lessons can change that you’re trying to get a square peg through a round hole.
4. Riders Who Keep Digging
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My first lesson with Lendon Gray was on a WONDERFUL creature named Lukas, who had the least comfortable trot on planet Earth, but who could also do the entire I1. I bungled the count in a line of fours. Then I did it again, the same way. Lendon stopped me and told me that she didn’t care if I made a million mistakes in each lesson, as long as they were all different. I’ve never forgotten it.
We all have our nagging equitation faults, the stuff we need to hear about every 10 seconds, and it still won’t sink in for weeks. But goodness, if you’ve made the same bad leg yield 12 times, perhaps it’s time to try something else. Kick. Pull. Do something too much. Dramatically change the plan and see what happens. Even if you still have a problem, it’ll at least be a different problem. I get paid whether you try or not, but if you’re finding yourself in the same hole, wouldn’t it make sense to put the shovel down and try Plan B?
5. Riders With 37 Reasons Why They Can’t
My personal favorite! I had a new student come to me last week who was so rough on her horse I had to stop her. When I took her whip away, she told me—no kidding—”I might as well go home right now, because we’re not going to accomplish anything unless I have my whip.”
She went on to tell me his back hurt. And he was ruined by the previous trainer. And that he’s not normally like this. And on and on. The lesson didn’t last long, and I don’t think I’ll be seeing her again anytime soon.
Of course, if there’s information we need, tell us. Horses have baggage. So do people. An old knee injury that means it’s really hard for you to ride with your stirrups a hole shorter, or a horse who’s cold backed and needs a few minutes on the longe line. A fused neck that makes sitting trot an impossibility, or you can’t carry a whip because someone beat the horse up.
But unless your trainer is telling you to treat your horse in a vicious way, you can at least try it their way. Even if it sounds crazy. Even if it’s not what you’ve been working on. Maybe it won’t work, but maybe it will. Isn’t that worth a few minutes out of your comfort zone?
Five Things You Should NEVER Feel Guilty About
1. Lacking the Matchy Matchy
One of my favorite students and best friends routinely shows up to her lessons in a green vest, navy blue pad, and neon, see-from-outer-space, hunter orange polo wraps. On a chestnut horse. It is AMAZING. And I SO do not care.
Yeah, white’s “traditional.” Fluffy polos and a crisp pad are nice. But if tie-dye makes you happy, bring it on. If purple’s your passion, let’s do it. I personally find that a mismatch between the pattern of my breeches and the pattern of my socks improves my riding. (I’m sure Dr. Klimke subscribed to the same theory.)
2. Horses Who Aren’t Show Ring Ready
I live in Virginia. It rains. Our red clay, while not as bad as our Carolina brethren, is persistent. And many of my students let their horses live like horses—outside. No one ever died from witnessing a manure spot. And I flat-out refuse to groom my horses’ tails on a daily basis.
Whenever I have a new student who apologizes for the state of their grooming job, I remind them that I showed a 17.2 h gray mare for years, and that no matter how wretched they think their horse looks, I can guarantee that I’ve seen worse.
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3. The Non-Traditional Horse
Per #3 above, my dream is that each of my students is on a horse who suits them, physically, emotionally and financially. If that creature is a nice bay warmblood, grand. If it’s got spots, or a dish face, or feathers, or a mane you only need one rubber band to braid, then that’s just fine, too.
Bring on the Arabs and pintos, the draft crosses, the ponies. Yes, my barn currently has nine warmbloods in it out of 12. It’s the highest percentage of warmbloods I’ve ever had. Of those 12, four are at least half Thoroughbred. And the remaining three are Thoroughbred, Paint and PRE. I teach a 15-hand draft/hackney cross. I teach Appys. I’ve got a palomino, a cremello, and lots and lots of spots. Each of them makes their rider feel safe and has the training necessary to advance their riders. Isn’t that what it’s all about?
4. Beginners
I’m always stunned when people tell me they hesitated to call about lessons because they didn’t want to waste my time, or didn’t think I took beginner riders into my program.
For real?
Any day of the week, no questions asked—I would rather have a barn full of students learning it right the first time around than a handful of more experienced riders whose chronic mistakes I have to go back and fix. And with rookies, the learning curve is so steep! Instant gratification! They get their balance right and everything snaps into place. What a feeling! Or when they feel “on the bit” for the first time, or nail their first real half-halt? Manna from Heaven!
5. Questions Galore
Sure, there’s a disease out there called Paralysis By Analysis, where students wonder and worry themselves into immobility. But if something doesn’t make sense, please don’t hesitate to ask your trainer what on God’s green earth they are talking about.
One of my students, a beginner, pulled me aside during the first Scott clinic she audited and asked if I had a translator available. She said it was like listening to a foreign language. And dressage does have its own language. Ask a volleyball player or surfer if their half-halts come all the way through the body or if they are getting stuck in the poll, or if the degree of articulation of the hocks is sufficient in the transitions between piaffe and passage. Come again?
If it doesn’t make sense, I’m not doing my job. Tell me. Don’t ever be shy about speaking up.
So: knock (most of) the dust off your Quarab, grab your pink polos and tweed saddle pad, and come on out for your next lesson with the attitude that, even if it seems hard, you’re going to give it a try. You’ll be amazed at the results!
