Gymnastics are an excellent way to help your Human expand her jumping skill set. Or, in some cases, just endeavor to create one.

Sidenote: gymnastics, as an equestrian exercise, are extremely poorly named. If the Humans we deal with had any sense of grace or flexibility at all, I wouldn’t be able to find a job. Further, I flinch at the idea the Human might misunderstand that she is the one doing anything resembling an athletic activity. Instead, it’s more a matter of flopping, floundering, and whimpering on her part, so gymnastics days may be a good time to dig out that heavy-duty rope I advise harnessing the Human with for cross-country gallops.

Regardless, I’ve found my Human tends to set up gymnastic exercises not for the purposes of practicing her own position (which would be a much more worthwhile use of her time), but to meet some sort of goal regarding adjusting speed and stride counts.

Recently, we encountered a line of three fences at home. The first two were set close together, and the third was some distance away. The Human thought we would practice my stride length. My point was that she would do better to leave the actual piloting up to me, but she stubbornly resisted this idea.

Oh, witless wonder.

My Human’s ideas, together with my helpful responses, went something like this:

1. Human: Trot in, one stride between fences A and B, four strides to C
Me: Not enough leg. Trot in, step over A, trip over B, land in sitting trot and wander off to rail to eat grass.

2. Human: Canter in, one stride, four strides.
Me: TOO MUCH LEG. Canter to A, leap over A sideways, pogo into the air over B, and take two and a half strides to C. 
TOO MUCH LEG.
…buck.

3. Human: About 10½ hours of sitting trot to combat my ‘attitude.’ 
Me: Yawn.

4. Human: Canter in, one stride, three strides.
Me: On board, until her terrified tremor lost her left stirrup. Canter in, one stride, turn left for a bending line over a three-foot wall.

5. Human: Trot in, one stride, four strides.
Me: You have now changed your mind so many times, I have no idea what we are supposed to be doing. What are these wooden things for? Why am I wearing a saddle? What’s my name again? Trot. Halt. Pogo leap over A. One and a half strides to B. Trot C. Halt.

6. Human: Canter. Just, canter. 
Me: Canter in, bounce between A and B, three strides. Buck, buck, buck. Unscheduled detour over arena railing.

7. Human: Let’s think about heading toward the gymnastics line.
Me: Canter in, one stride to B, four strides to C, collected canter out, halt at X.

I had to deduct points for all the screaming and bleeding, but in the end I think she really got the message—less [direction] is more.