•    Head-to-toe grey/tan/khaki: I have no problem galloping around a four-star cross-country course draped in every color in the rainbow, but out of the saddle, I have the personality of a wet sock.

•    Browns/greens: I’m resigned to the fact that my horse does not understand the concept of personal space and regards me as his own personal dinner napkin.

•    White linen: I like to live dangerously.

•    Sunglasses and baseball hat: My [insert personally appropriate adjective here] cross-country ride yesterday led to severe inebriation at last night’s competitors’ party.

•    Stilettos: I will go to any length (or height) to ensure that if anyone in this partnership is going to go lame, it’s not going to be my horse.

•    Breeches and boots: I have too many horses, and I was supposed to be in the novice arena 5 minutes ago.

•    Orange: I am either Sharon White, or I’m Dutch.

•    Dirty, wrinkled pants: I didn’t actually think we’d make it to the second jog, so I only brought one outfit.

•    Mini skirt and/or prominently displayed décolletage: It’s possible that the degree of my horse’s soundness is somewhat debatable.