Sometimes, I wish I’d been an accountant.
The highs, the lows. Putting your happiness in the hooves of 1400 pounds of prey animal with the reasoning capacity of a toddler. It makes for a volatile life!
Ella’s had her time off, is back in light work, and still just feels blah. She makes everything I ask of her, but without her normal enthusiasm. My vet saw her, just to be sure there was nothing sinister brewing, and he found her in excellent health except for low white and red blood cell counts. It could be the remnants of a little bug, or maybe her body reacting to some ulcers that have crept in in spite of my best efforts (a great supplement, and Ulcergard when she travels), or maybe it’s just been a long, hot summer, and she’s feeling run down.
No matter the reason, it’s clearly not in Ella’s best interest to travel, spend a week away from home, and compete at the highest level. And so I’m going to sit this one out.
I think it goes without saying that I’m frustrated. Of course, of COURSE, nothing is more important than the health and wellbeing of my horses, especially as they are SO young and SO talented. But it is hard to watch yet another thing I’ve worked for all season for slide by, and as I watch Cleo in her field, barefoot and retired at only age 12, I’m reminded of how fragile the dream can be.
ADVERTISEMENT
But all of those feelings pale in comparison to how I’d feel if I dragged her up to New Jersey and made her worse, physically or mentally, if I caused her to need more down time by exhausting her, or making her angry and resentful. I love this horse. I love her weirdness, her insecurity, the way she feels when she takes a big deep breath and tries for me even though she’s scared, the way she comes over to the front of her stall whenever I walk by.
So I’m bummed, I’m frustrated, and I feel like crap because it should go without saying that I’m sick with a touch of the flu today (because when it rains, it pours!). But Ella is outside soaking in the sun. Midge is trying to bean Fender in the head with a feed pan over the fence. My horses are happy, and they’re going to be fine, all of them, both in the long and the short run. Ella is going to stay home, and we’re going to take time to build back up.
And Midge is going to go to Gladstone to demo the new Developing Horse Grand Prix Test on Sunday. We’ll drive up on Friday, so I can watch all the Grand Prix competition, do some spectating, see my friends, and if I’m lucky, score some coaching from the country’s best.
The down times make the up times feel all the sweeter. What accountant gets to feel all that?
