When Nina Theofiles enters the hunter ring with her gelding Mark, she has a mantra—one of many, actually—“Let go of the fear and the inside rein.” 

Theofiles is one of those people I watch at horse shows or at the office, assuming that nothing much could rattle her. She juggles not two but three jobs—she teaches during the day, runs her own tutoring business, serves as a part-time substance abuse counselor in the evenings, and even works off her board picking stalls (so, make that three and a half jobs).

She has been riding for longer than she’s been walking (she recently uncovered a photo of her mother, Shirley Theofiles, jumping a triple bar oxer while six months pregnant with Theofiles), and after a lifetime in the hunter/jumper world, hauls her horse to shows on the weekend, where she often rides alone.

“Where it all began—my dressage-loving mom put me right up on her friend’s pony, Domino, every time I asked!” said Nina Theofiles.

As is the case for every fearless competitor I’ve seen confidently striding by me in the warm-up ring however, Theofiles said it took a lot of hard work to get to this point, and she’s not done learning yet. 

Remarkable, a Hanoverian-Thoroughbred cross gelding, wasn’t what Theofiles had in mind when she was looking to purchase a horse five years ago. She hauled down to Virginia from Pennsylvania and made appointments to try several eventers, having decided she wanted to switch disciplines.

She went to look at the then-4-year-old “Mark” almost as an afterthought and fell in love. Having dabbled in dressage under her mother’s instruction, Theofiles initially thought she could make Mark into her eventing prospect, so the pair worked up to their first dressage show. It didn’t go exactly as planned.

“He was mad the whole time. He spun in circles. I told everyone he belonged to my mom. ‘Oh yeah, this is my mom’s new prospect! Isn’t he so cute?’” she remembered. “He made it through the test just fine, and then he tried to crawl into the judges’ box, because I’d fed him carrots all morning trying to get him not afraid of the judges’ box.” 

Nina and Mark at the gelding’s first and only dressage show. Photo courtesy of Nina Theofiles

She thought they’d try again, but trainer Tim Maddrix convinced her that with his natural jumping form, Mark wanted to be a hunter. When Maddrix moved out of state, she began working with Deloise Noble-Strong, and that’s where Theofiles said she really developed her confidence.

“I was able to ride for myself. Deloise wants you to ride the horse you have, and have a good time,” said Theofiles. “It’s funny, I’ll be at a show and come out of the ring and she’ll say, ‘That was good. Did you have fun?’ and I’d say, ‘That’s not what it’s about!’”

But of course, that is what it’s about. Theofiles works as hard as she does to afford the training and competitions she wants without worry. Mark may be the reason for her workload, but he also helps take away some of its pressure.

“I always tell people that teaching is really good for riding, because I come out with an objective for the day,” she said. “He has been my best student and most challenging student, because he taught me how important it is to listen and tune in. And to have fun.” 

Nina Theofiles showing Remarkable to the reserve championship in the pre-adult hunter division at the 2015 Harrisburg National Horse Show (Pa.). Photo by Hoof Print Images

Theofiles said she has learned to enjoy the experience with Mark, even though it means letting go of some of those objectives. Hack classes aren’t their forte because Mark’s way of going more closely resembles the dressage style he so definitively rejected. They’ve hoped to move up to the three-foot division, but work obligations have made it challenging for Theofiles to put in the time to make that happen, since she takes on extra work at a summer learning program for Johns Hopkins (what is that, four and a half jobs now?). 

She has learned to appreciate Mark’s active, curious brain and relaxed demeanor, which encourage her to mix up their workouts without concern that he’ll flip his lid. 

The process of showing by herself when Noble-Strong is out of town has unexpectedly brought Theofiles a profound sense of confidence. She said it took a lot for her to learn that she couldn’t be good at everything all of the time.

Nina Theofiles with her trainer, Deloise Noble-Strong. “She’s much more than a trainer. She’s one of my best friends. She’s helped me foster the love I had for this and really enjoy every day,” Theofiles said.

“Being an amateur you have more fear of screwing up than anything else. Or being wrong, or giving your horse an unfair ride. For most of us, we get over the jump height or whatever. It’s everything else that stops us from being successful,” she said. “I quote John Wayne a lot—it’s my own sports psychology: ‘Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway.’”

A lot of that development, she admits, is also due to help from her mother, who Theofiles describes as her best friend. Shirley Theofiles occasionally gives Mark and Nina dressage lessons, and draws on her experience as an eventer to suggest pointers for the hunter courses. Theofiles attended the very first Rolex Kentucky Three-Day Event and can boast tales of a Bruce Davidson clinic in which Davidson chased her over a 4½’ foot fence waving a rake.

Nina said that recent years have been tough on the family, as her father has been ill and her mother had to sell her horse. From time to time, Shirley will hop on Mark to reconnect with her riding roots. The gelding treats her with care, moving gently during what Nina calls “the grandma rides.” In those moments, it’s clear to Nina that, missed objectives or not, she ended up with a very special horse in Mark.

“When I was younger I always heard riders talk about their horse of a lifetime, and I didn’t get it,” she said. “I always thought you had to be really rich to have one of those, or you had to show a lot, or you had to jump really high. That’s not the case. He’s the horse that fills my voids.”