I’m sitting in my PJs recovering from a terrific trip to Kentucky for the U.S. Dressage Finals, sipping coffee, listening to my mountains of laundry churn away, packing up my show clothes for the trip to Florida in January, and looking back on a wonderful year.
I couldn’t have been more excited to put 2015 behind me anyway, but my students made 2016 amazing, as well as my own group of horses. Normally by this point in the year I’m a pile of quivering exhaustion, and while you’re certainly not hearing me complain about the prospect of six weeks with virtually nothing to do except teach and ride and breathe, I’m not nearly as fried this year as I’ve been in the past. Having a great village, wonderful horses and a few big goals checked off the list will do that!
We had a seamless trip both to and from Kentucky. The horses travelled beautifully, we got mostly good ride times, the weather held, and we didn’t have any flat tires—miraculous! Two amateur students travelled with me, and both had super rides throughout the weekend, applying what they’ve learned throughout the year to make the most of their trips. Congratulations to Cathy and Torrey on a great year!
I myself brought Ella to contest the Grand Prix and freestyle classes. Ella has worked phenomenally for the last few months, and I was really feeling good about the plan I had to peak her fitness at the right time for this show.
But I had a tough decision to make, and that was whether to try and bring my stalwart coach, Michael Barisone, out to warm me up for my two classes. In the end, I decided not to; I spent a fortune bringing him to the CDI4* we attended this Spring in Omaha, and I’m so glad I did because he was so wonderful and helpful, but it blew my training budget for the year.
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It was the wrong call.
I didn’t do a nutty, I didn’t lose my cool. (Well, I did, but it was for about half an hour, so I think that’s OK.) I remembered my training, rode my horse smartly, made her sharp in the warm-up, and really did a lot of things right. But Ella’s not a hot horse, and so sometimes she gets a little behind me in the ring. I know better than to panic and run her off her hind legs.
I know this. I’ve heard this before, from judges and from Michael alike. And while I didn’t send her careening around the ring as badly as I have in the past, and while I did keep her uphill better than I have in the past, I created too much frantic energy, instead of letting her swing and stay relaxed.
It’s not like my rides were disastrous. I made no mistakes. We were sixth in the Grand Prix, with a 67.9 percent from five-star judge Gary Rockwell, of which I’m terribly, terribly proud, because Mr. Rockwell has judged at the Olympic Games, and he’s a very experienced and serious judge, and impressing him is a Very Big Deal for me. We were third in the freestyle, pulling off my one-tempis with my reins in one hand, and showing off the hard work I’ve put in on my right canter pirouette (it outscored the left one!).
But I wish, I wish, I wish I could have figured out how to afford to bring my coach along, because it could have been just that much better. Let’s be clear—it was my idea to not bring Michael, not his. I never even asked if he could come. Maybe it was the finances; maybe it was one of those annoying Millennial qualities I’m trying so hard to shake, the notion that “I can do it all by myself!” But it was not the right judgement call.
One of the things I love about the U.S. Dressage Finals is that it’s one of those shows everyone goes to, so I get to catch up with my friends from all over the country, and the one thing we always talk about is the quintessential Problem No. 1 of being a professional rider: that spending time and money working on our own riding, taking lessons with our own coaches, developing our own horses and riding careers, means time and income away from our students. Striking that balance is so hard, and I think I failed on this one.
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What didn’t fail was my wonderful Ella, who smiles at me and might even be proud of the rider she’s made me (there were times in the beginning where I swear she rolled her eyes when I put my feet in the irons and tried to tell her what to do). I watch my rides from the weekend, with their imperfections and all, and compare them to where I was at the beginning of the year. It’s barely the same person.
I’ve got my work cut out for me. I changed my fitness regime this year, and not for the better; I need more cardio in my life, and with this six week break from the competition season, followed by my time in Florida when my schedule gets a little easier, I should be able to fit it in better.
Neither Danny nor Johnny have a big competition season in 2017 on their dance cards (by my choice), but they’re definitely on track long-term, and they’re both ready to step up, in their respective ways, which means I need to raise my expectations not only of them but of myself. I absolutely MUST figure out how to keep my freaking reins short across the board.
And I want to do more for my own education in 2017, take more lessons and get more help, which means I have to work even harder to afford it all AND be there for my own students.
But it can be done. I know it can. I know I can.
Just let me finish this cup of coffee first.
